Well, tomorrow is New Years Eve and I wanted to share with everyone how I have been preparing my Autistic child for it.
As we all know Autistic children respond to things differently. Especially uncommon stimuli.
And although fireworks is guaranteed every year, it is still not a common thing.
It does not occur all the time or all year around. Not even once a month.
Kind of like how you only get birthday cake on your birthday.
I will be honest with you and say that as an Autistic child myself, I had a love hate relationship with fireworks.
Some years I absolutely loved it, and some years I really truly hated it.
In my younger years, I really enjoyed fireworks and would love to stay up late to watch it.
Although to be honest with your staying up late is not really an option when the noise level is enough to measure up to what sounds like constant explosions.
And the constant flashing lights that come through the curtains in the room.
Background
As mentioned above I am Autistic.
I am a mother also. To an Autistic child. As well as a non Autistic child.
My Autistic child reminds me a lot of myself.
And I was struggling growing up.
It was really hard for me to go through life and not understand what was going on.
It feels like you are living your life, while looking through a semi-sheer curtain.
You can see what is going on ahead of you but the little bumps you absolutely miss and trip over.
In some ways, I think, me being Autistic means that I can cater to my child’s needs much better. Because I have literally been there done that. Except I had no help!
Growing up my Autism was denied.
No one bothered to even try to understand what was happening to me or how to help me cope or deal with it.
And God only knows how hard it was.
I started this blog in order to try to get some kind of a community going.
In recent years, I have seen a lot of growing communities in the Autism category.
But I have yet to see any which have started from an Autistic parent or caretaker.
So here I am. Offering my perspective and everything I do in my household.
As soon as my Autistic child was received their Autism diagnosis, we decided to get them the whole shebang of help and therapy that they could get.
I have written about it all on here.
As well as given the therapy that we did.
And its all FREE. Because no parent should be struggling to provide therapy for their Autistic child ever. Whether it is from lack of resources or lack of funding.
We have been doing therapy at least 3 times a week. Some of the therapies we have been doing with our child that I have been documenting include:
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Speech and Language Therapy
Helping speech development by play
6 Speech Therapy Techniques for Autism
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Applied Behavioural Analysis Therapy
Behaviour Therapy for Autistic Children
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Pivotal Response Treatment Therapy
I also do part time home schooling, even though my Autistic child also goes to school. I do this because, my child needs a little longer than some of the other kids to learn.
This way my child will not feel left behind or like they are not as fast as their peers.
So I find out what school work they do and I go over it at home with my child.
You can find many of my posts on things you can teach your Autistic child at home.
For example, Teach Autistic child to write (level 2).
The thing about Autism
Autism in a child is a neurologically differently developed child. The neurological connections in the brain are different than that of the average child.
What this means is that an Autistic person sees and processes things differently than other people.
Certain things that might not affect a typical person, such as TV volume or bright flashing lights in cartoons will and are overwhelming for an Autistic child.
Actually, a great book to read on Autism, and being introduced to how Autism works in the brain is, “The Official Autism 101 Manual“.
In general, everything is more intensified and it is harder to process a ton of information at the same time.
I do not know how else to describe it other than, everything just feels much more intense and chaotic.
There are really 2 types of Autistic children when it comes to celebrating the New Year or any other holiday event that includes fireworks.
- Those who love it and look forward to it.
- And those who dread it.
Personally, I cannot remember liking fireworks much, except for a single year when I was around 6 years old.
I do not mind looking at the bright lights if they are not close by. However, the sound really bothers me and It is something that annoys me every time I hear the ‘bang’.
Simple things that the average person does not notice can feel like an attack on our senses.
For example
- Bright lights/colours
- Textures and Tastes
- Sound is a big one too
and
- Smell is also a very real one.
Some Autistic people, do not mind having some senses touched, whereas their other senses are much more sensitive.
For example, the lights do not bother me too much as long as they are not so near by.
However, the sound really bothers me and it has always been this way with me.
Even when my Husband listens or watches something, I am always asking him to turn the volume down.
To him, it is on a normal range volume, but to me it is absolutely blasting.
Fireworks really touch on all the senses except for taste and touch.
Of course there are ways to try to help the situation but I think for the most part, it is just something we need to ride out with our child.
Remember
Before we get into how you can help your Autistic child cope with fireworks, you should explain what is going to happen.
Start a day or two earlier than the actual event.
Speak to them about the:
- What,
- Why,
- Where and
- When
You can also show them videos or read them books which include fireworks in them.
Prepare them for what is about to happen rather than have them hear explosions and not know what is going on!
So now then!
Coping mechanisms
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Blackout curtains,
Studies show that sleeping in a darkened room, is good and healthier for your eye sight anyway.
I think getting a blackout curtain for your own bedroom as well as any for your childrens room will be much healthier for their eyes.
However, another benefit of blackout curtains is that the flashing flights, from traffic or fireworks or neighbour lamps become about 90%-100% less visible.
Kind of like the out of sight, out of mind mentality.
If you can’t see it, then it cannot grab your attention in that moment.
It helps calm down the mind because it reduces external stimuli to the brain.
This is especially calming for Autistic people who have difficulty shutting off their brains.
Sometimes however, blackout curtains can be quite expensive, especially if your child’s room has very large windows.
So it is quite possible to buy fully lined blackout window sticking curtains. These are removable and can easily be placed on the window only for night time.
One of the best ones of this, that I have found so far you can find here on Amazon, “Blackout Curtains – Amazon”
Also, these are a better option than actual hanging curtains if you are not a curtain person or chose to not have any curtains on your windows.
If all else fails wearing eye masks/covers can also do wonders for helping black out the room.
Disclaimer with Eye Masks/Covers
I personally hate these and my Autistic child hates these also.
They make me feel very clausterphobic and as though I might get attacked.
Whether that is due to trauma I do not know.
But as soon as my eyes get covered I absolutely freak out.
My Autistic child will also remove anything placed over their eyes. So they are not happy with it also.
So that might be something you need to keep in mind when introducing these.
Of course everyone is different but thats just how I have experience with it.
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Headphones,
Headphones are a staple in any Autistic household. Specifically noise cancelling headphones.
If you have really good quality headphones then you will not even need to play sounds like rain sounds or forest sounds or whatever calms your child down.
I have found JBL headphones do an amazing trick when it comes to noise cancelling.
Headphones can and are also a comfort item of some sort. It almost feels like a hug to your head. But without having to go through human contact.
Needless to say, if your Autistic child is bothered by the loud noises of fireworks then having them wear a good noise cancelling headphone can make the difference between a calm night and a meltdown from hearing stimuli overloads.
But even just covering one of your childs senses can significantly reduce their stress levels. Because it is one less overload to their brain that they do not have to deal with.
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Sleeping Early
If you can get your Autistic child to go to sleep early, then do it.
Have them go to sleep before the fireworks starts.
The likelihood of you getting your child to go to sleep in the middle of a fireworks presentation is not an easy feat.
Nor is it going to be very possible.
So, if you can, wake up your child a little earlier than usual so that they can go to sleep a little earlier than usual also.
Most children.
Not all.
But most tend to sleep through noise. Once they are asleep that is.
So as soon as they fall asleep, gently place their noise cancelling headphones over their ears.
Be careful not to wake them.
I truly believe this is the best solution to getting your Autistic child to be as unbothered as possible by the amount of noise they are about to bombard us with.
You can gently play gentle sounds through the headphones to keep them lulled asleep.
This will even help prevent them waking up in the middle of the night and around midnight when the sounds become too intense.
Fear
I will say that Sensory overload is different to fear.
Fear is something I do not like in my children.
Well, let me phrase that a little differently.
I want my children to be afraid of walking into oncoming traffic. And also I want them to be afraid of walking off the edge of a cliff.
But
I do not want them to be afraid of objects or people.
Likewise, I do not want my children to be afraid of fireworks.
The way to reduce fear is to face it head on.
That is absolutely my motto and what I strongly believe in.
I believe it was at the beginning of my childs Autism diagnosis when we realised they were afraid of fireworks.
So we went to buy the little poppers version of fireworks.
You know the ones I am talking about. Little balls that you throw on the floor and they make a slight pop sound along with a tiny amount of smoke.
With slight training some Autistic children will be Okay with these. My own child has even begun to want to throw them themselves.
Which they do now.
Once you have gotten your child used to this, you can try the bigger fireworks.
Not quite the massive ones that are the common ones you see in the sky. But they have mini ones that shoot up into the air and are louder than the small poppers.
Eventually, if your children are good with it, you can progress to the big ones. Have them stand a safe distance back and watch.
This is the best way to get them over their fear if they have it.
Disclaimer
It most likely will not be possible to shut out the fireworks entirely.
But if you have a basement in your house, then that might be the best place to place your child during the fireworks phrase.
And yes, I know that is much easier said than done because an Autistic child does not like to change their room or environment and doing so can cause them severe distress.
As well as leading to a possible meltdown/breakdown.
So only do this if your Autistic child agrees to it and if they are Okay with it.
Also, I will say that it is Okay to experience a sensory overload for an Autistic child. However uncomfortable they are, they are not avoidable. That is the truth.
If it is not this that will cause a meltdown then it is something else. And if it is not that, then it will definitely be another thing.
I personally do not hate meltdowns. I think that Autistic children need to have meltdowns once in a while or all of their confusions and emotions will remain bottled up and that is not good for anyone.
Meltdowns are a way for a person with Autism to release all of that. Of course, I know they are not easy for Autistic children to go through and that they can be as equally hard on parents or their caregivers.
Sometimes, we just need to weather that storm together.
I am only saying that we need to try to make our Autistic children as comfortable and as happy as much as we can.
But sometimes, external forces that we have no control over come and mess it all up.
Comfort
We have a rule in my house that during times like these. Bed rules change.
If our kids need to. They sleep in our bed with us for the night. So what.
If that is what they need. Then so be it.
When your child is uncertain, uncomfortable or is entering a new territory, the best and biggest comforting place for them is by their most trusted adults that they have around them.
Namely their parents.
Give them love and comfort. Lay with them and cuddle them.
Fireworks night is an exception to the rest of the year.
So house rules should also have exemptions from certain things on those exception days.
Anyway,
Your attitude makes all the difference in the world. If you go into this anxious and stressed, your child will follow with the same attitude!
Good Luck and enjoy the holidays as much as you possibly can!