6 simple ways to help your autistic child to speak

This post is exactly how I helped my autistic child to speak more and express themselves more.

This post is for the late speakers like my autistic child.  

The non-confident speakers like my autistic child. 

Or for those kids who need to stick up for themselves a little more. 

And for the kids who want to express their wants and needs more. 

Before we get started, it is worth saying that these techniques significantly helped my child. At first my autistic child was non verbal, but later this slowly progressed to them becoming more and more verbal.

Is speech trouble normal for autistic children?

A great introduction to autism and also how it works inside the brain of an autistic person is, “The Autism Spectrum: A Guide for Parents and Professionals” by Lorna Wing.

Autism is a condition that affects how a person thinks, communicates, and interacts with others. It can make understanding social cues and expressing emotions very difficult. Each person with autism is different, and their experiences can vary widely.

I did not have speech issues as a kid, even though I am autistic. However, my child had serious issues with speech and they are autistic too.

So, I cannot guarantee that these techniques will help get your autistic child to speak, because we are all different, but I can confidently say that they did help my autistic child to speak. Just bear in mind that autism is a spectrum, so not any two autistic people are the same.

Autistic children often struggle the most with social interactions and communication. They might find it challenging to understand social cues, body language and facial expressions. (For further reading see, “The Out-of-Sync Child” by Carol Kranowitz). That is why it is important for any autistic child to speak and learn how to speak in order to communicate.

Why is it important to get your autistic child to speak?

It’s important, for anyone capable of learning it, especially an autistic child  who is capable of being able to verbally express themselves, to learn how to speak. Communication is key to expressing needs, thoughts, and feelings.

Being able to speak, helps them connect with others, participate in social activities, and speak up for themselves. Effective communication can also reduce frustration and behavioral issues that arise from not being able to convey their needs or emotions. (See “The Out-of-Sync Child” by Carol Kranowitz)

According to, “The Autism Solution: A Workbook for Parents and Professionals” by Dr. John McEachron, teaching an autistic child to speak can greatly enhance an autistic child’s quality of life by improving their social interactions and overall independence. It supports their ability to build relationships, achieve personal goals, and navigate their world more effectively.

Best ways to help your autistic child speak

Which autistic children are best suited for speech therapy?

According to “The Complete Guide to Autism Spectrum Disorders” by Dr. John W. Jacobson and Dr. Julie A. Bowers, autistic children who are good candidates for speech therapy are those who have the potential to benefit from improving their verbal communication skills.

If an autistic child shows a desire or need to speak more clearly or effectively, speech therapy can be very helpful. For example, an autistic child who is starting to use simple words but needs more practice with pronunciation or sentence structure.

Also, if an autistic child is struggling with social interactions and wants to learn how to better express their thoughts and needs, speech therapy can be great in helping your autistic child’s speech move forward.

My experience with speech therapy in getting my own autistic child to speak

I do not disagree with the fact that children, whether autistic or not, should learn how to express themselves in multiple different ways. However, the common one that the world uses is speech.

I agree that it is such a shame that we must conform to one way of doing things. I want my autistic child to be able to function fully and independently once I am no longer here to support them.

That is why I have decided to embark on this journey with helping my autistic child to speak. We have been doing this together and I taught my autistic child to speak in the space of 8 months. My autistic child can speak 5 word sentences now.

I should also add that our tantrums and meltdowns have reduced significantly and my autistic child seems to be more at peace with themselves and have less of a fear of being misunderstood.

Again, I must reiterate that this is the experience of my autistic child, and it might not be the same for your autistic child. But I also truly believe that no harm will come if you try. If it works then that is excellent, but if it does not, there are many other methods to help your autistic child to speak. (Some autistic children may benefit more from developing alternative communication skills – Bales & Brooks, 2018)

Beginning the Speech Therapy 

It is best if you have goals set out of what you and your autistic child want to gain from the speech therapy.

For us, it was to get my child to express their wants and needs and also getting my autistic child to speak. Instead of them pointing and being silent. Because this would always lead to tantrums and breakdowns with both of us being frustrated because I did not understand what they wanted and they could not make me understand what they wanted. 

The best part of this speech therapy technique to get an autistic child to speak is that it can be done with anything and everything. 

It will also help your child become more comfortable with prolonging eye contact which is what we also wanted to work towards.

 

Step 1: Select a few of your child’s favourite toys

Figure out what toys/games/foods your child loves the most as these will bring the best motivation out of your child.

START with that.

Step 2: Hold up the toy next to the side of your head

It is important to hold up the toy next to the side of your head. This is done so that your autistic child can start by looking in your direction. 

This is also the precursor to establishing eye contact.

And it lets them understand that when they want the item that you are holding they need to look at you or in your general direction to establish a relationship where they can eventually get it.

Because you and the toy are next to each other and connected through your hand. 

Which means that both you and the toy need to be addressed. 

How I did this

What I used with my kid was their favourite train set. 

So, I would build up a very nice train track with my autistic child together and then hold the trains in my hand up next to the side of my head.

I did this because my child could not play with the train tracks without using the trains. And in order to encourage my autistic child to speak, I had to use something that they needed.

Otherwise, my autistic child can easily just go and grab another toy and start a whole new game by themselves; completely ignoring and bypassing me.

In the beginning my child would try to grab it out of my hand. I would of course not give it to them because it is at this point we want the autistic child to speak.

You can coax your autistic child to speak. 

Step 3: Give them an example of what to say

Give them an example. 

I would look at my kid directly while holding up the train and tell them to say, “I want train”. 

It did take several tries, but eventually my autistic child did say it. 

AND so, I gave my kid 1 train. It is their reward for speaking! And they also understand it as such.

I did not settle for less words. Neither should you. Your kid needs to learn to be as descriptive as possible. 

If your child can say “I want train”/ “Give me train”. But chooses to simply say “Train”. This isn’t enough. And you should NOT give them the train. If you know they are capable of more, ask for more. 

Let asking for what they really want become a habit for them.

Do not forget to give your autistic child lots of verbal praise!

Disclaimer,

At this point, it is very normal for your child to not be looking at you at all and only be looking at the toy they are asking for.

Eye contact will come. Please do not force it from your autistic child because it can feel very confrontational.

Also, to get your autistic child to speak comfortably, please go at their level.

If you know that your autistic child can say ‘train’ (or whatever toy you are using) please do not demand more. Teaching your autistic child to speak should not be stressful for them and they should not be made to feel inadequate.

Eventually, your child can build up on their speech levels to go from saying, ‘train’ to ‘want train’ to ‘I want train’ to ‘I want train please’, etc.

Like I said above, it took me 8 months of working with my child every day. Getting some autistic children to speak may be faster and getting some autistic children to speak may be slower.

Step 4: Encourage eye contact

This one is a little more difficult and a little more confrontational.

But it is undeniable that teaching an autistic child to speak comes with eventually having to teach them about eye contact.

I had to improvise and use a Reward Chart for this.

The reward chart that we made for my autistic child was originally used for their food therapy journey. Now we use it to help teach my autistic child to speak.

The chart is basically a piece of paper that has 8 squares on it. It can be filled up with 8 tokens or stickers that can stick onto the chart.

Present the chart to your child and tell them that if they look at you in the eyes the next time they ask for train. They can get a sticker. 

In the beginning of teaching your autistic child to speak to others a simple 1 word and a 1 second glance is enough for a sticker and plenty of verbal praise.

Once the chart has been fully completed, they get a reward. This can be anything from food, to toys, to a little screen time! Whatever you are comfortable with really.

Step 5. Gradually reduce the reward chart. 

So, for every 2 asks and eye contact they get 1 sticker.  

After a week increase it to them making 3 asks before they get 1 sticker. 

Do not hold back on the verbal praise though!

Until the reward chart is no longer needed and your kid is doing eye contact and asking for their favourite toy. 

Eventually we are working towards your autistic child, even without being prompted, to come to you and ask for things while maintaining eye contact.

 

Step 6. The more your child develops their language. The more complicated the sentence should be.

Like I mentioned above, you know the level of speech of your autistic child. And you know what they are capable of. Also, the more they learn, the more they need to keep moving forward.

So if in the beginning your child is manding simple words, eventually you can work on increasing the complexity of those words into sentences.

For example:

1. “Train”
2. Can become, “Want Train”
3. Which can develop to, “I Want Train”
4. And then to, “I Want Train Please”
5. To, “Can I Have Train Please”
6. Teach then descriptors next, “Can I Have Red Train Please”
7. Add Grammar, “Can I Have The Red Train Please”
8. And finally a full perfect sentence, “Can I Have The Big Red Train Please” 

Eventually, Step 6, Example 8, is where we aim to get to.

Remind them to keep eye contact if needed. 

And always tell them that they are doing a good job.

Once they have their basics learned and mastered, they can apply this to the outside world.

You are essentially teaching your autistic child to speak at:

• Kindergarten 
• School 
• With their friends and
• With their caretakers 

Things to look out for when doing Speech Therapy.

Your child will get frustrated and try to grab whatever it is you are holding from your hand. Do not let the item go and stick to your guns. 

You know your child better than anyone else. You know how much wording they are capable of. Do not accept anything less than what they are able to do. 

They need to give it their all and ONLY THEN will they get whatever is in your hand, verbal praise and a sticker if you are like me and using rewards charts also.

It is okay to be frustrated. Comfort your child and let them know you are proud of them for trying.

If you can notice in your child that they really need a breather, let them take a breather and ask again after a while. 

Before you Begin with the Speech Therapy Techniques

• I highly recommend getting a Reward Chart. (I also use this reward chart for independent eating during dinner. Which, if you need help with I have a separate post on using therapy techniques to get your autistic child to eat food. Read about it Here..)
• Using rewards is great for their confirmation that they are doing good and that things are going well. 

 

Controversies surrounding speech therapy to help autistic child to speak.

Speech therapy to teach any autistic child to speak might be controversial for several reasons. Some critics argue that traditional speech therapy methods may not always address the unique communication needs of autistic children. Teaching an autistic child to speak might not be the best way for them to communicate.

I want to add my 2 cents to this argument. I can say that in all truth, my autistic child has reduced their tantrums, their meltdowns and also the frequency of their ticks since they learnt how to express themselves.

My child is much happier using words and being able to communicate that way, because their needs are met much quicker and they get what they want much faster and much easier.

According to, “Autism Spectrum Disorder: A Clinical Guide for General Practitioners”, by Dr. Michael J. Bales and Dr. Gary W. R. Brooks, there’s a debate over whether focusing on speech development is always the best approach, as some autistic children may benefit more from developing alternative communication skills such as sign language.

Another controversy is the concern that speech therapy might sometimes be used to push autistic children to conform to typical communication norms, rather than recognizing and supporting their unique ways of interacting and expressing themselves.

In my personal opinion, everyone should learn sign language. It should be a second language taught in schools!. However, unfortunately sign language and additional communication methods are not widespread nor are they common.

It means that if autistic children learn how to communicate this way, it will not help them integrate into society. As much as that sucks, the world is not as open to alternative methods as they should be. So, in order for my child to get a full experience out of life and have an easier transition into society, learning how to speak and express their wants and needs was as necessary as breathing in my opinion.

Additional reading

A very good read on this topic is  – Improving Speech and Eating Skills in Children with Autism.