Its time to go.
To the Dentist.
And the subject is our child, who is Autistic.
So, we have to obviously prepare for this several weeks in advance.
Preferably.
Make sure, you make the appointment in good time.
And you can even involve your child in the appointment making scheduling/timetable.
My child was diagnosed with Autism from the early age of 2 and a half years old.
I have Autism also.
My husband is not Autistic and neither is my other child.
Autistic children are quite different than the average non Autistic child.
They have many more sensory sensitivities than anyone else.
Anything that affects their any of their senses can lead to an emotional overload.
Everything just feels more.
A simple touch to you can feel almost like a punch to us.
Not in such a painful way per se but in a violation kind of a way.
Emotional overloads can lead to:
- Anxiety attacks,
- Panic attacks,
- Disassociation
etc in Autistic people.
Being at the dentist is a very intimate experience for us.
There is a lot of touching of the face and invasion of personal space involved.
The thing is, I have been going to therapy sessions and specialist appointments with my child for almost 3 years. So if I have learnt anything about my child in particular and also Autistic children in general.
Is that they can be made to be somewhat comfortable around things they absolutely refused to even be around some time ago.
It takes a while to get the ball rolling but it is absolutely possible.
Practise and preparation are the key to success.
And I will say this, if you see that your child is not ready. Or that they are too uncomfortable. Even if they are really trying to please you, you can tell.
As their parents, we can always tell and foresee before their difficult moments begin.
And we should be all ears and eyes for anything like it.
The problem we truly want to avoid, is for our child to have a tantrum or a ‘situation’ whilst they are in the chair.
That could cause possible trauma and make them not want to return to the dentists chair for many years to come.
And the point of the whole thing is TO NOT HAVE THEM HAVE TRAUMA.
There are amazing books to read on child psychology and how you can gain the trust of your child and harness a proper and positive relationship.
One of the books I prefer to read and that I re-read sometimes just to keep reminding myself how I can better improve myself and my parenting skills is called, “Between Parent and Child“.
It also helps me understand my child and try to get into their mindset regarding how they feel.
I have written several posts also on how to do Speech and Language Therapy and Pivotal Response Treatment Therapy at home.
These two types of therapy helps your child express themselves and communicate their feelings to you.
You can read these posts here:
- PRT Therapy using PlayDough
- Helping speech development by play
- 6 Speech Therapy Techniques for children with Autism
You know your child best and you know what triggers them and what does not trigger them
So here are the steps, to get them to hopefully be fine with going to the dentist.
Or at least get them to be accepting of it.
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Videos/books
As Autistic children learn by copying and mimicking and also become more comfortable when they are familiar.
The best introduction to the dentist is to show your child videos and read books about it to them.
Do this in advance and not a day or two before you go to the dentist.
No horror stories or anything like that.
Cartoons and books show the process quite well actually.
As well as having actual video footage and images of what everything looks like inside the dentists room.
Just let them familiarise with the
- Chair,
- The lights,
- Laying down etc.
Let them see the process of what is going to happen and the order that it will happen.
Cocomelon has some great videos on going to the dentist and several videos on teeth needing to be brushed.
They also have a great episode about the process of having rocking teeth and how they fall out etc.
An amazing book to read as a bedtime story or for storytime that I have found is, “Going to the Dentist: A Toddler Prep Book”
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Facts
Autistic children love facts.
Give them the whole biology mouth thing.
Any facts and whatnot that you can find about teeth let them know about it.
- Milk teeth,
- Molars
- How many teeth you have in your mouth
- Why you even need teeth
etc.
Speak to them about at what age the teeth will fall out and what age they will come back.
Let them know about the consequences of not going to the dentist.
And why it is good to go.
Also tell them how they are free to ask the doctor questions, if they can.
Whatever they are curious about, they can ask the dentist. If anything, they can ask you and you can ask the dentist for them if they are too shy.
It might really get them interested and curious in going to the dentist.
Also if your Autistic child has issues with cleanliness, let them know that the dentist office is a clean, hygenic and sterile place.
And let them know that the dentist knows what they are doing. They are also doctors of the teeth.
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Make them go through the process at home
What I mean by this is play pretend.
Get some equipment.
Even if you cannot afford the equipment you can pretend.
Use a spoon instead of a mirror.
Lay down on a bed or a recliner instead of a dentist chair.
Have a napkin on your chest also, like how they have at the dentists office.
Have your child play the dentist first and you the patient. Open your mouth for them and let them poke to the spoon all up in your mouth.
Ask for reports on how your teeth are doing and how they look.
Tell your child (the dentist) that you brush 2 times a day and that you try to look after your teeth.
Have a proper conversation about your teeth.
Then switch roles.
Have your child wear the napkin and lay down and open their mouth.
Ask your child to open their mouth etc and repeat the process.
(Use a smaller spoon)
Just repeat everything but for your child.
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Let their dentist know
Give the dentist a headsup.
Call them in advance. Let them know you have a special child. And that they have sensory needs.
Also let your dentist know if your child has any specific requirements.
And if they claim or admit that they are unable to handle a special child.
Then find another one.
Preferably a childrens dentist.
The thing with my Autistic child is that from a very young age I have been taking them with me to the dentist whenever I have had my check up.
So both my Autistic and non Autistic child was familiar with the environment and the dentist and everything.
Which was absolutely ideal actually.
The process of going there with me before my Autistic childs own appointments was the best unconscious thing I ever did.
However, it may be that this is not your case.
So really do some research in and around your area with which dentists are the best for your child.
Read reviews about the different dentist locations and get real life recommendations on which ones are compatible.
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Bring their favourite comfort object
If they need a plush toy, or a comfort object, or a blankie then so be it.
Sometimes comfort object brings a lot of peace for the person who has it.
Like a little piece of the comfort of home.
This thing can make all the difference in the world.
And it can be the difference between a meltdown and merely being uncomfortable.
Let them pick their own clothes.
Allow your Autistic child to choose their own breakfast or lunch or both.
Do not restrict them on this morning and allow them to do the things that make them comfortable or calm.
If your child leaves the house stressed then they certainly will not calm down or be calm at the dentist’s office.
The key is to give them a nice stress-free morning or half day before their appointment begins.
What works for my Autistic child is taking them for a nice walk.
It really helps calm the mind down.
So truly, do for your child what works best for them when it comes to keeping them calm and happy.
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Tell them of a Reward
You must let your child know that if they go through with the process of getting a checkup at the dentist or at least try their best to go through with it.
They will get a reward.
You must absolutely reward their effort.
And you must recognise and praise them everytime you see them trying to move forward.
Being at the dentist and having tools in your mouth is not easy.
Nor is it comfortable.
And for an Autistic child to do this is incredible.
I simply struggled to use an electric toothbrush for several weeks because of the noise and the vibrations that I feel inside my head.
Which feels like a bee is inside my brain.
Even if the reward is simple, such as getting to:
- Chose what is for dinner.
- Or taing them out for lunch.
- Maybe even spending quality time together.
- Having the afternoon alone with you to play their favourite game with them.
- Or buy them a toy train, car, or whatever they prefer.
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If all fails, try again in a few months so what
Kids do things at different times.
Especially Autistic children who have many more sensitivities and sensory processing issues.
If your Autistic child is not ready to go to the dentist, then so what.
Delay it for another 6 months.
DO NOT make your child feel any kind of way about it either.
Let them know that it is okay and that they can try again another time when they feel ready for it.
Don’t listen to the statistics about what age is ideal for children to go to the dentist.
Work at the pace of your child.
Disclaimer
If your child has pain in their mouth and teeth.
Whether they have cavities that need to be filled or not.
And they absolutely need a check-up.
There are ways of having your child fall asleep in the chair with anaesthesia.
But I do not personally like this because being Autistic and being in a groggy state is extremely uncomfortable.
Which one will 100% feel when they wake up out of the state from anaesthesia.
At least that is how I feel. Alcohol, drugs and any form of medicine which makes me feel whoosy or lightheaded also scare me.
Already the world is unpredictable and scary.
The only thing that I can control is myself.
And because of this, If I lose control of myself I will have an anxiety or panic attack.