Why I Hate Driving as an Autistic Adult: A Personal Journey
For most, it is a step toward independence and freedom. But for me, driving as an autistic adult feels like an uphill battle that never really ends.
It is not that I can not drive. I can, and I have a license. But the process comes with so much anxiety, sensory overload, and overthinking that I actively try to avoid it whenever I can.
Yes, I can technically drive, but here is the truth: I hate it.
This is not just a mild dislike; it is a reaction rooted in sensory overload, intrusive thoughts, and the struggles of multitasking.
I have spent years figuring out why driving as an autistic adult feels like such a monumental task.
Here is my take, based on personal experiences and what I have observed in others like me.
This is my personal experience with driving as an autistic adult, what makes it such a struggle, and how I have learned to deal with some of the hurdles.
If you are struggling with driving as an autistic adult, or if you know someone who is, I hope this gives you a bit of insight and maybe even some encouragement.
The Anxiety That Comes with Driving as an Autistic Adult
Before I even sit behind the wheel, the anxiety kicks in – my brain goes into overdrive.
Driving is not just about getting from point A to point B. It is about every possible thing that could go wrong along the way.
My brain runs through every possible worst-case scenario: What if I crash? What if I forget to check my blind spot and hurt someone? What if the car breaks down in the middle of nowhere?
These thoughts spiral until they feel heavier than the car itself.
For autistic people, like myself – over analyzing is second nature.
That is a blessing in some cases, but not when I am trying to stay focused on the road. Driving as an autistic adult demands a level of responsibility that feels overwhelming. One mistake could have serious consequences.
Add the fear of being judged for making a mistake or the potential for harming someone, and it is no wonder that driving as an autistic adult feels overwhelming.
For me, that stress does not fade as I gain experience. It lingers, always ready to resurface.
Even minor stressors from earlier in the day can compound this anxiety. If I have had a rough morning, I find it nearly impossible to focus on driving later. It is like my brain refuses to clear the clutter, making an already stressful task even harder.
There is no room for error, and that is exhausting.
Intrusive Thoughts: The Uninvited Passenger
Driving as an autistic adult comes with its own set of mental challenges, but intrusive thoughts are the worst for me.
These are those dark, persistent thoughts that creep into your mind and refuse to leave.
For example, when driving past a river or sharp curve, I can not help but imagine the car flipping over or plunging into the water. The thoughts are vivid, unsettling, and impossible to ignore.
They are not limited to specific situations, either.
On narrow roads, I immediately calculate the chances of a collision with oncoming traffic. When parking, I obsess over the possibility of hitting another car, even if the space is wide open.
These thoughts are not logical and I know this, but they feel so real that they take up all my mental energy.
Dealing with intrusive thoughts while driving is like trying to watch a movie with someone constantly talking in your ear.
It is distracting, exhausting, and makes an already complex task feel impossible.
I have written a post on how autism influences intrusive thoughts, maladaptive daydreaming and dissociative identity disorder. If you want to give that a read, you can click here
Multitasking Mayhem
Driving is not just one skill. It is dozens of tiny tasks all happening at the same time. Checking mirrors, adjusting your speed, signaling turns, navigating traffic, and staying aware of pedestrians.
It is a lot to juggle.
For me, this level of multitasking is overwhelming.
I can multitask in other areas of life, like knitting while watching TV or typing while listening to a podcast.
But driving as an autistic adult feels different because the stakes are so high. There is no room for error, and every second demands your full attention. Add unexpected situations like a sudden lane closure or a reckless driver cutting you off, and it is a recipe for disaster.
Parking deserves its own special mention. It is like a test of spatial awareness, patience, and nerve. Whether it is parallel parking on a busy street or squeezing into a tight spot, the pressure makes me want to avoid driving altogether.
It is frustrating because no amount of practice seems to make it easier.
Sensory Overload: A Constant Battle
Things such as:
- Lights
- Sounds
- Visuals
There is too much going on.
The sensory demands of driving as an autistic adult are relentless.
The hum of the engine, the glare of headlights, the constant movement of other cars – it is a lot to process.
As an autistic person, I often need quiet moments to reset my sensory system. But driving as an autistic adult does not allow for that. It is non-stop input, with no breaks or downtime.
On some days, the sensory overload is manageable.
On others, even the sound of the turn signal feels like too much. It is not just about the volume or brightness of individual stimuli; it is about how they all pile up at once.
The result is a kind of sensory “traffic jam” that makes it hard to think clearly or respond quickly.
The Emotional Toll of Avoidance
There is a deeper emotional layer to this struggle.
Every time I avoid driving, it feels like a small defeat.
I want to be independent, to take my kids to school or run errands without relying on anyone else.
But the anxiety and sensory challenges make it so hard that I often choose not to try.
This avoidance can lead to feelings of isolation.
I have missed out on social events or opportunities simply because I could not face the stress of driving as an autistic adult. It is a constant balancing act between wanting freedom and needing to protect my mental health.
How I have Learned to Cope
Despite all these challenges, I have found ways to make driving as an autistic adult a bit more manageable.
It has taken years of trial and error, but here are a few strategies that have helped me:
- Simulation Training: Before I started driving as an autistic adult regularly, I practiced with simulations and traffic soundtracks. This helped me get used to the sensory experience in a controlled environment.
- Extra Driving Lessons: I failed my driving test three times because of my driving anxiety before finally passing on the fourth attempt. The extra lessons gave me more time to build confidence and address specific challenges.
- Mindfulness Techniques: When intrusive thoughts or anxiety start to take over, I use grounding techniques to stay focused. Simple things like deep breathing or repeating a calming phrase can make a big difference.
- Setting Limits: I have learned to recognize my limits and plan my trips accordingly. If I know a particular route or time of day will be stressful, I avoid it whenever possible. I try to take my bike or ride public transport.
Why I Keep Trying
Even though I hate driving as an autistic adult, I keep doing it because it represents freedom and independence.
I want to show my kids that they can face their fears and overcome obstacles, even if it takes time.
Driving as an autistic adult is not easy for me, and it probably never will be. But every time I get behind the wheel, I prove to myself that I am stronger than my anxiety.
If you are struggling with driving as an autistic adult, know that you are not alone.
It is okay to take your time, to ask for help, and to find your own way of navigating the world.
You do not have to love driving as an autistic adult; you just have to find a way to make it work for you. Keep going!
You have got this.
Further Reading,
This book, ‘Guide to Driving a Car for Autistic People’, is insanely helpful to autistic people like me who want to drive because it offers practical advice tailor made to the different challenges autistic individuals face behind the wheel.
It breaks down complex driving tasks into manageable steps, helping readers build confidence through clear, structured guidance.
The book emphasizes strategies to manage common difficulties, such as sensory overload, multitasking, and intrusive thoughts, by providing specific tips on how to stay focused and calm during different driving situations.
This book uses real life scenarios and relatable examples to help autistic people anticipate and prepare for various driving conditions. It promotes techniques such as simulation practice and mindfulness, which can ease the transition from a controlled learning environment to real world driving as an autistic adult.
By addressing both the emotional and practical sides of driving as an autistic adult, the book empowers autistic individuals to develop the skills and resilience needed to drive safely and confidently.