Its time to get your partner a gift.
Whether it is for someone you deeply care about or for your spouse.
Buying something for an Autistic person tends to be a little bit different than biying a present for an average Joe.
I am Autistic.
I will have been married for 7 years this year, so I might be able to help you out.
Well, at the very least I can tell you that as a present/gift receiver (and giver of course) on special occassions, what was good and what was bad!
Giving someone a gift or a present, unless you dislike them, is something that you would want them to love.
As an Autistic person, I might be able to help you navigate that.
Actually, I have a post on what it is like to get married as an Autistic person and the methods which I chose and choose to keep to, in order to keep my relationship successful.
No, its not all flowers and roses, there are arguments and only in fairytales do relationship require no work at all.
You can read that post here, “Getting Married while having Autism”
Another great book to read on being in a relationship with someone with asbergers is called, “Love and Asperger’s: Practical Strategies to Help Couples Understand Each Other and Strengthen Their Connection” by Kate McNulty.
Gift giving and Autism
The thing about being Autistic, for me anyway, is that I like to be very clear about what I like and do not like.
So, in that sense you are very lucky to be with someone who is Autistic.
Most Autistic people do not bother with giving clues or keeping you guessing.
So either you should clearly know what they want because they have explicitly told you.
OR
You ask them what they would like for a gift/present, and they will tell you straight up exactly what they would like.
Forget social customs of having to guess what your Autistic partner might or might not like.
Ignore what society tell you that gift giving should be like.
I personally prefer and absolutely love it when my Husband asks me what present I would prefer.
We tried in the beginning of him giving me gifts that he was guessing I would like or not.
A particular, very expensive gift I did and do not care for at all.
I will say that it was also the first year of marriage so, it is very understandable that we had not ‘gotten’ each other too well in the gift giving department yet.
Because all the other gifts I got, he has absolutely nailed.
But,
My husband still likes the element of surprise.
He likes to surprise me.
I have told him that in order to make it much easier for him, and much less stressful. He should give me a rough budget and I will find 5 things within that budget that I would love to get and really want.
I will then send him the link to them all.
Then have him choose the gift he wishes to buy me.
AND it will still be a surprise for me because I will not know which one to expect.
Because me being me and being Autistic means that I do not like the unknown, nor do I like to not know what is going happen.
Most other Autistics are like this too.
Also, the things that Autistic people struggle with, is the fact that our environment is so unpredictable.
That is why we develop things like OCD.
So getting things like unpredictable presents can be quite scary.
Especially as it is very difficult for us to lie.
Moreover, we know how we are supposed to act when we receive a present/gift. And consequently, it makes me feel guilty when I do not like the gift and cannot mask it.
However,
There are some Autistic people who love the element of surprise.
And I will say that if you give me a gift which is completely non functional and is given to be by a child or a younger person. I will love it, cherish it AND keep it.
AND it will make me very happy.
IF your partner likes the element of surprise.
OR you do not feel like you have been together long enough but you still want to nail it.
IF you have not been with your partner for too long you are out of ideas.
OR you feel too shy to ask your Autistic partner for a list.
Then this list is definitely for you.
1. A Watch
Whether it be a simple design or a more over the top watch, you can literally find anything all within your budget.
Of course, generally, functional gifts are the best gifts ever (in my opinion). They are nice and make our lives slightly easier.
There are also watches where you can personalise the bottom bit of it.
For someone who is very interested in the time or numbers, or always wants to be on time. OR are extremely passionate about time keeping.
Then really this would be the absolute perfect gift.
You can find the relevant link here
2. Jewellery
Favourite colours, or text engravings on bracelets etc.
Really make the person feel special.
Jewellery in general could be anything from:
- Earrings,
- Rings,
- Bracelets,
- Anklets,
- Necklaces or
- Cuff Links
Or a nice matching set.
Finding something that looks nice is amazing, however, I would highly recommend you try to get some kind of clue as to what your partner likes.
Because it is not nice to receive something, be expected to wear it, when you really do not fancy it.
3. Make them something
There is always the option of handmaking something.
I once knitted my husband a very nice warm jumper.
It took me over half of a year tocomplete and finish.
But he absolutely cherishes it and loves it to no end.
Hand making something will ALWAYS be a hit.
Even if you are not the best at making something.
When it comes to things like this. It is really the thought that counts.
4. Tickets to their favourite show/venue
Self explanatory.
You listened well enough to know exactly what show they love.
Took your time to stand in line to get tickets.
Or even kept all ears open to know when and where tickets were sold so you could snatch some!
You are absolutely sure that they will love the evening and that they will absolutely be happy.
5. A weekend away
If you can afford it.
- It could be a weekend camping trip or
- An BnB trip away to a different city or
- A weekend away to another country.
It really depends on your budget, however and whether you and your partner prefer the quiet life or the louder inner city life.
But guaranteed your partner will absolutely love this!
It will also be a good break from work/study life and a really helpful short holiday to relax the mind.
6. Customised portraits
If you have a photo that you love of you and your partner together, you can always have them made into cartoons or portraits.
Have them framed.
If you live together, then probably only one is needed.
However, if you live separately, then get 2 made.
One to hang in your room and another for your partner to hang up in their own room!
These are so cute and so lovely to have.
It really shows you care!
7. Kissing cups/mugs
I saw these and couldn’t resist in adding them to the list.
They are two mugs which fit together at some part.
And it fits together to make it look as though the two mugs are kissing.
It is funny and cute at the same time.
AND actually makes for a very romantic gift.
8. Box of customised chocolates with a nice bouquet
Chocolate has always been the language of romance.
All romantic holidays and national days consist of flowers and chocolates.
Chocolate is an absolute classic and moreover, chocolate is the staple of life.
A fun fact, if you didn’t already know, is that chocolate actually can raise serotonin levels in the brain.
Which LITERALLY means that it can make you feel happier once you have eaten it.
9. Couples Spa Day
Spend the whole day with your partner.
Have a pampering session together.
You can relax together and really bond.
This gift can be so romantic and your partner will absolutely appreciate it.
It is an absolutely amazing day to relax together.
Away from the stresses of work and studying!
10. Couples games
Now, I don’t think this title needs much explanation.
Have fun.
Buy some couples games.
Or couples cards for conversation starters.
If you are feeling a little naughty, 😉 then there’s also plenty games designed for couples for such things.
11. Personalised co ordinates
I have seen gifts online, where co-ordinates have been framed.
For example, the altitude and aptitude co-ordinates of where you met.
OR where you proposed.
Really depending on your relationship.
Again, if your partner loves numbers and digits.
Then this will be the perfect gift for them.
And it is extremely romantic.
Give it a nice frame.
You can find this here
12. Scented bathsoaps or scented bath rose petals etc
These are so cute. And smell absolutely amazing.
If you have a bath at home, have it prepared, nice and warm and add these to the bath.
But if you do not have a bath in your house, then you can always add these to any hotel room bathtub, if you are taking your partner out for a night at a hotel etc.
These honestly can make any simple bath extremely romantic and can get the tune for some romance IMMEDIATELY.
13. Partner fill in books
Another idea that I have seen is that there are a lot of cute books that have a fill in option.
51…..reasons why I love you.
And then you state down 51 different reasons why you love that person.
These gifts are amazing confidence boosters and can really help build up a persons self esteem.
It is also something that they can come back to everytime they go through a hardship or they begin to doubt themselves.
These things are extremely personal and personalised so they make for an amazing gift.
You can find this particular one here
14. Custom Wallet
There are wallets which have inscriptions on the inside of special writing.
Or if you and your partner have a sentence you always use with each other.
Maybe even a catchphrase that is common between you.
You can also include nicknames that you have for each other.
It is romantic.
Because wallets are always carried on the person.
So it will be like they are carrying a piece of you with them at all times.
This one in particular can be found on etsy through this link
15. Sculpture hand crafting kit
There is a really romantic one, where you mix the thing together and make it ready.
You then hold hands with your partner and place your intertwined hands into the casting to make a mould.
Then you pour some kind of plaster into that mould.
And out comes a permanent sculpture. Of your hands intertwined.
It is such a nice thing to display as a decoration and solidifies to anyone coming into your house that you two are a couple.
16. Pocket hugs
Now I have to include these.
These are amazing for Autistic people.
They are little pillows in a heart shape that can fit into the palm of your hand.
To be honest they do not have to be pillows they can also be crocheted small heart shaped pieces of wool.
Or knitted.
Also, if you make it yourself then even many more bonus points to you!
They are called pocket hugs because you can reach into your pocket and give it a squeeze.
Like a hug. But in your hand. But a hug nonetheless!
In fact, a pocket hug is amazing for people who do not like to be touched or feel suffocated when they are being squeezed for a hug.
It is really a way to show love to your partner. In a way that they will absolutely appreciate and love you more for.
17. Romantic key chains
You have half of a key chain.
And your partner has the other half of that same key chain.
You can have half of a kissing face and your partner can have the other half of it.
Or you can personalise it with special nicknames.
Or special writings on it. For example catchphraises that are exclusive to you two.
If you really like this idea, you can purchase it here.
18. Custom coupons
These are hillariously fun.
And for an Autistic person, make fun time predictable.
It also allows them to have some form of control.
Autistic people tend to not like being in the unknown.
So if you bring about an activity to do that completely catches your Autistic partner off guard. They might not like it very much.
This eliminates that. Additionally, these coupons are cute and fun and can be redeemed throughout the year or on allocated times and days spread out.
There are more ideas on etsy and you can even customise the writings to fit your personal relationship. If you want to buy this, here is the link.
19. 5 senses gift box
This gift box includes something for all 5 senses.
It is an excellent, fun and a romantic thing to do with an Autistic partner.
It allows them to explore different sensual stimuli with their partner.
You must additionally know, that anyone with Autism struggles with sensual stimuli. So to explore that together, especially if they feel safe with you. It will after all, leave a long lasting memory in their minds and will increase their romantic feelings towards you significantly.
Here is a link to this one
20. Personalised shadow box
Lastly, lets speak about these.
Oh my god I die for them.
Even using these as nightlamps.
These are so cute and romantic.
You can add a personal message on it also and have that reflected on the wall.
Honestly, these are so amazing.
This amazing gift piece, you can find here
I really cannot express how romantic this gift is!
Moreover, It can be used as a night lamp, a reading lamp or even a romantic light for a darkened room.
Good Luck with finding the perfect gift and I hope this post was useful to you!