Planning for an event? If you’re including your autistic child, prep is key.
Any gathering – whether it is a party, celebration, or family event, can be challenging for kids on the autism spectrum.
But with the right preparation, it can be a positive experience for everyone.
Hey friends!
It’s time to talk about something that many parents, including myself, can find tricky: preparing an autistic child for events.
Whether it’s a birthday party, a holiday celebration, or even a family get-together, these occasions can be overwhelming for any child, but especially for an autistic child.
So, I wanted to share what I do to help my little one not just get through events but actually enjoy them.
We have a celebration coming up in a week or so and because of this I have been preparing my Autistic child for events for a while now.
I have Autism myself so I get it!.
And it does not mean that I do not love going to events.
It is just that sometimes things can get too much.
Such as the lights, noise and large crowds.
Unless it is just my close family involved.
In that case I look forward to it very much.
Why Preparation is Key for an Autistic Child for Events
If there’s one thing I’ve learned as a parent of an autistic child, it’s that preparation can be everything.
Just like you would not jump into a pool without testing the water, you can not just show up at an event and hope for the best.
When it comes to going with an autistic child for events, prepping well in advance helps reduce anxiety, creates familiarity, and ensures a smoother experience for everyone involved.
I remember the first big event we attended after my child was diagnosed with autism.
We thought, “We’ll just go with the flow.”
Spoiler alert:
It did not go well. The noise, the people, the flashing lights – it was too much
My child shut down, and we had to leave early.
That’s when I knew we needed a strategy for the next time.
1. The Mental Prep for an Autistic Child for Events
First things first, I start by giving my child an overview of what the event is all about.
Is it a happy celebration like a birthday?
Is it more of a formal gathering?
This way, they can start to mentally prepare for what’s coming.
I keep the conversation simple and straightforward: “Next Saturday, we’re going to Aunt Lisa’s house for her birthday party. There will be cake, balloons, and some games. You might see your cousins there.”
Talking about the event daily helps.
Give them a date and a day and a time roughly. Keep reminding every once in a while and if the event is 1 week away then tell them once a day.
Every day leading up to the event, I say something like, “Remember, on Saturday we’re going to Aunt Lisa’s birthday party.”
This helps keep it fresh in their mind and makes it less of a surprise.
Surprises and unexpected changes can be stressful during taking an autistic child for events, so repetition is key.
2. Visual Learning and Familiarization
My child is a visual learner, so I always incorporate images or videos into the preparation.
If we are going to a location they have not been to before, I find pictures online or use Google Street View to show them what the place looks like.
I will say, “Look, this is where we’ll go on Saturday. Here is where we will park the car, and this is the room where the party will be.”
If it is a birthday or a holiday, I find videos that show what typical celebrations look like.
This might be a video of a child blowing out candles on a cake or kids playing games.
The goal is to make the event seem familiar before we even get there.
Familiarity is crucial for any autistic child for events because it takes away some of the uncertainty.
Getting ready with an autistic child for events, means I must keep remembering that there are different types of Autistic children. Some are visual learners and others are not. Cater to which ever one your Autistic child is.
3. Getting Your Autistic Child Involved
One thing that has worked wonders for us is involving my child in the preparation.
If we are going to a birthday party, we go shopping together for the present or decorations.
I ask my autistic child, “Which color wrapping paper should we use?” or “Do you want to help pick out the balloons?”
This makes them feel part of the event planning, giving them a sense of control. And this is important for any autistic person because the outside world is way too out of control.
Once, when we were getting ready for a big holiday gathering, we spent an afternoon making homemade cards together for the family.
It was not just a fun activity; it was a way for my child to feel like they had a role in the celebration.
By the time the event rolled around, they were excited to hand out their cards and see people’s reactions.
This hands on preparation helps prepare my autistic child for events feel less like something that is happening to them and more like something they are participating in.
4. Explaining Who Will Be There
One of the best pieces of advice I can give is to tell your child who they will see at the event.
I say things like, “Your cousin Mia and her mom and dad will be there,” and show pictures if possible.
For an autistic child for events, seeing familiar faces is reassuring, and knowing who will be at an event helps them feel more secure.
I also make sure to mention if there will be new people. “There might be a few people we don’t know, but that’s okay. If you want to stay close to me, that’s totally fine.”
It is so important for an autistic child for events to feel predictable, and prepping them for the social aspect can make a huge difference.
5. Setting Up a Quiet Space for Your Autistic Child for Events
No matter how much you prepare, there’s always a chance that your child might feel overwhelmed.
This is why creating a quiet space at the event is essential.
Before going, I usually talk to the host (if it is someone we know well) and ask, “Is there a room or corner we could use if my child needs a break?”
If it’s not possible to have a separate room, I bring along essentials that help create a mini space for my child: noise-canceling headphones, a favorite blanket, or even a pop-up tent.
One time, at a family wedding, I set up a small spot with headphones and a favorite book.
When the loud music and dancing got too intense, my child retreated to their little corner, took a break, and was able to rejoin after calming down.
If your autistic child in general likes to be in a ‘secluded space’ in order to calm down, then for your autistic child for events – cover them with your jacket if that is the only thing you can do.
Bathrooms can be tempting as a go to quiet space, but I’ve found they are not ideal.
The knocking and noise can actually make things worse.
A soft, quiet corner is a much better solution for an autistic child for events.
6. Must-Have Equipment for an Autistic Child for Events
You can read my other post also about how to take your autistic child for events with you and have them be okay with it.
You can read both that post here and this one alongside with each other for best results.
Over the years, I’ve learned to bring a small “event kit” that I bring for my autistic child for events – with items that help my child stay calm. Here’s what’s usually in my bag:
- Noise-canceling headphones: These are non-negotiable for my autistic child for events. They reduce sensory input and help my child feel in control. A good pair is worth the investment.
- A favorite toy or comfort object: This helps ground them and gives them something familiar to focus on.
- A tablet or handheld game: Sometimes, taking a short break with a familiar game can be a lifesaver. I have had moments where a 15 minute game session was all it took to help my child recharge and rejoin the group.
- Snacks and water: Having their favorite snack can be incredibly calming for an autistic child for events, especially when the event food is unfamiliar or not something they like.
Letting people at the event know that your child might use these items can also help.
“Hey, just so you know, my child might need to put on their headphones or take a moment with their tablet. It helps them manage the noise and excitement.”
7. Teaching and Reinforcing Social Manners
One thing I always try to do is balance preparation with teaching social skills.
Yes, I want my child to feel comfortable, but I also want them to learn how to interact and participate.
Before going with any autistic child for events, I practice a few basic social manners with my child. Simple things like, “Say thank you when someone gives you something” or “Wave hello to Aunt Lisa when we arrive.”
We do role playing games at home, practicing what it will be like to say hi or join a group of kids playing.
It is never forced, and I always let my child know they can take breaks if they need to.
But over time, these little practices have made events easier and more enjoyable for them.
8. Flexibility and Knowing When to Leave
Despite all the preparation, there are times when things just do not go as planned.
Maybe the music is louder than expected, or there are more people than I anticipated.
I always go with my autistic child for events knowing that we might need to leave early, and that is okay.
The goal is not to stay the whole time; it’s to make the experience positive, however long it lasts.
Once, at a busy community event, we stayed for only an hour before my child needed to go home.
Even though it was shorter than I hoped, it was a win because they enjoyed the time we were there.
We left before any meltdowns, and that felt like progress.
9. Reflecting and Preparing your Autistic Child for Events
After an event, I always talk to my child about how it went. “Did you like the balloons?” “Was it fun seeing your cousins?” .
This helps me understand what worked and what did not.
It is all about building on each experience so that the next time you take your autistic child for events is even smoother.
10. Reading stories about other people attending social events
My autistic child for events like to have some kind of game plan in their head. I am the same also.
Reading social stories about other people going to events and also how they behave and interact can be a great way to ‘model’ ideal behaviour for your autistic child for events.
My autistic child for events often find it challenging to pick up on social cues or know how to respond in social situations.
Social stories demonstrate appropriate reactions for my autistic child to various scenarios, like greeting people, joining conversations, or responding to changes in the environment.
This modeling helps them learn socially accepted behaviors in a clear and relatable way.
Social stories often include moments where characters face challenges, such as feeling overwhelmed or unsure how to join a group.
By showing these challenges along with strategies the characters use to manage them, social stories teach coping mechanisms.
This helps my autistic child understand that it’s okay to feel a certain way and provides them with practical methods to manage those feelings during an event.
Overall, social stories serve as both a guide and a rehearsal for social behavior, allowing your autistic child to better grasp what is expected at events and how to navigate them with more confidence and ease.
Final Thoughts
Events can be overwhelming for anyone, but for an autistic child, they come with extra challenges.
With preparation, communication, and a lot of love, these experiences can become enjoyable for both your child and you.
Do not forget to celebrate the small victories, even if it is just a smile or a moment of participation.
Every step counts. And remember, you are not alone many of us are navigating this journey right alongside you.
So, whether it’s a birthday, a holiday, or a school event, take the time to prepare your autistic child for events.
They deserve the chance to experience the joy of events, in their own way and on their own terms.
Disclaimer.
The people whom I am very comfortable with are not necessarily the exact same people whom my Autistic child feels comfortable around.
Keep this in mind.
And a Good book to read on how to keep your Autistic child for events calm is, ‘I Choose to Calm My Anger: A Colorful, Picture Book About Anger Management And Managing Difficult Feelings and Emotions‘.
It is a fantastic resource for helping children learn how to manage and express their emotions in healthy ways.
This is particularly useful for autistic children, who often experience sensory overload or become overwhelmed by the unfamiliar environments and social interactions found at events.
The book acts as both a teaching tool and a reference point for autistic children who need support with emotional management, especially during outings and events.
By integrating the strategies from I Choose to Calm My Anger into event preparations and coping routines, myself and other parents can help our autistic child feel more equipped, confident, and calm during social gatherings.
Points to Note!
We do not want to be rude.
Or offend anyone.
However, My autistic child for events must have their needs take precedence! And that is nothing to be ashamed off.
Just be aware that when we give our children a time-out and when our Autistic child for events have their equipment that they are using, we must limit this a little bit.
It is not something they should be on constantly. Our autistic child for events should not be on their equipment the whole time.
It is important we let our children know how we expect them to behave and how they must act to some extent.
Nothing that makes them uncomfortable or that they hate, but:
Social manners are taught and it is our job to teach it.
Also, if your child does not want to go to any event. No interest. Not happy. Nor willing to go. Really, really Unhappy!.
Then maybe it should be okay for them to stay at home. IF POSSIBLE OF COURSE.
Yes, we want them to come out of their comfort zone but we do not want to traumatize them.