Getting a haircut can be a surprisingly difficult experience for some autistic children.

For my child, it wasn’t simply a case of sitting still while someone cut their hair. The noise, the sensation of hair falling onto their skin, someone touching their head, and being in an unfamiliar environment could all become overwhelming.

And honestly, I didn’t get it right straight away.

We tried several different approaches. Some worked a little. Some didn’t work at all. And some taught me a very important lesson: sometimes, even when you genuinely believe you’re doing the right thing for your child, you have to be willing to stop, listen, and try something completely different.

After many attempts (and quite a few mistakes), I eventually figured out what worked best for us.

So in this article, I’m sharing our experience of getting my autistic child a haircut, including what went wrong, what finally helped, and the preparation that made such a huge difference for us.

If you’re currently wondering how to get an autistic child to tolerate a haircut, I hope our experience gives you a few ideas to try.

Just remember that every autistic child is different. What worked for my child may not work for yours, and that’s completely okay.

Table of Contents

What I Learned About Giving My Autistic Child a Haircut

There were a few lessons I learned very quickly.

1. Every autistic child is different

This is probably the most important thing I can say.

What worked for getting my autistic child a haircut might not work for another child.

Some children may feel more comfortable having their hair cut at home. Others may manage better in a salon. Some may prefer scissors, while the sound and vibration of clippers may be particularly difficult for them.

There isn’t one perfect method for every autistic child.

For us, it took quite a bit of trial and error before I understood what my child actually needed.

So if something doesn’t work the first time, don’t automatically assume you’ve failed.

You may simply not have found the right approach for your child yet.

2. Preparation is essential

One of the biggest things I learned was that preparation made a difference.

Rather than expecting my child to suddenly cope with a haircut, we started preparing for the experience beforehand.

Things such as:

Visual aids
Social stories
Seeing the haircut tools beforehand
Talking about what was going to happen
Making the experience more predictable
Gradually becoming familiar with the sounds and sensations

Can all be useful ways of preparing a child for an unfamiliar experience.

For us, the more familiar the haircut became, the less frightening it felt.

I learned that I couldn’t just say, “We’re going for a haircut,” and expect everything to be fine.

My child needed to know what was going to happen.

3. Patience and flexibility are so important

Haircuts can take time to get right.

And when you’re trying to help an autistic child through something that is genuinely uncomfortable for them, patience is just as important for the parent as it is for the child.

It took us several attempts to work out what suited my child.

There were times when I thought, Surely this time will be different.

It wasn’t.

And that’s okay.

One of the biggest lessons parenting has taught me is that sometimes you have to let go of the approach you thought would work and start again.

So please don’t feel discouraged if your first attempt at an autistic child’s haircut doesn’t go according to plan.

It certainly didn’t for us.

Why Was It So Difficult to Give My Autistic Child a Haircut?

For my child, haircuts were stressful because there were several sensory experiences happening at once.

The sound of clippers was particularly difficult.

Even the sound of scissors cutting close to their head could make them anxious.

Then there was the physical sensation.

There was the feeling of scissors being close to their face, hair falling onto their skin, and someone’s hands touching their scalp.

None of these things were particularly comfortable for my child.

And then there was the environment itself.

Bright lights, unfamiliar surroundings, other people, and a completely unfamiliar experience could all add to the feeling of being overwhelmed.

So when I looked at it from my child’s point of view, I started to understand why something that seemed so ordinary to me could feel like such a huge event to them.

It wasn’t simply:

“Sit down and have your hair cut.”

There was so much more going on.

Understanding My Child’s Sensory Needs

I realised quite early on that if my child wasn’t comfortable, the haircut was probably going to end in disaster.

And I completely understood the people who would say:

“So what if your autistic child has long hair?”

Honestly, if long hair hadn’t been causing my child problems, I might have agreed.

But it was causing problems.

My child constantly complained about their hair getting into their eyes, ears and neck.

That created even more sensory discomfort.

And when the weather was hot, it became worse.

Their long hair would cling to sweaty skin, which made them fidget and fuss throughout the day.

So, for us, leaving their hair long wasn’t really solving the problem.

A haircut was actually something my child needed for their own comfort.

That was an important distinction for me.

I wasn’t trying to force my child to have a particular hairstyle because I wanted them to look a certain way.

I wanted to find a way of getting their hair cut without making the experience unnecessarily distressing for them.

And that became my goal.

What We Tried First — And What Went Wrong

Before I tell you what eventually worked for us, I want to talk about what absolutely didn’t work.

Because, honestly, there was a lot of trial and error.

And I made plenty of mistakes along the way.

Looking back, some of those mistakes taught me more than the things that went well.

1. We Tried Giving My Autistic Child a Haircut at Home

At first, I genuinely thought cutting my child’s hair at home would be the perfect solution.

It made sense in my head.

We would be in a familiar environment, surrounded by their toys and comfort objects, rather than taking them somewhere completely unfamiliar.

I even had a family member come over to cut their hair — someone my child already knew and felt comfortable with.

I thought:

What could go wrong?

It turns out… everything.

My child became overwhelmed and panicked almost immediately.

There were too many people involved.

There was me, my husband and the relative cutting their hair.

Even though we were at home, the whole situation became incredibly stressful.

My child was crying, screaming and visibly anxious.

It was very clear that this wasn’t working.

Looking back, I realised that being at home didn’t automatically make the experience comfortable.

There were still too many people, too much happening, and an unfamiliar process taking place in what was supposed to be my child’s safe and comfortable space.

I’d thought that home would automatically make things easier.

It didn’t.

And that was our first big lesson.

2. Then We Tried Cutting Their Hair Ourselves

After the disaster of the first attempt, we decided to try doing it ourselves.

This time, I came prepared.

We had all of my child’s favourite distractions.

Cartoons.

Their favourite ice cream.

Anything I could think of that might keep them calm and focused on something else.

I really thought this was going to work.

But even with all of those things, the result was basically the same.

My child was still uncomfortable.

Still anxious.

Still resistant to having their hair cut.

The sensory discomfort wasn’t something we could simply distract away with a favourite television show or a treat.

And this is something I think is important for parents to hear.

Sometimes your child isn’t refusing something because they are being difficult.

Sometimes they are telling you that something genuinely feels too uncomfortable.

At the time, I was still trying to work out the difference.

I was thinking:

If I make this fun enough, maybe they’ll forget about the haircut.

But that wasn’t what my child needed.

And before you judge me, I genuinely, in my deepest mindset believed my autistic child would be much more comfortable having their haircut at home.

I really did.

I thought I was making the sensible choice.

I just hadn’t figured out yet that familiar surroundings don’t necessarily make an unfamiliar experience feel safe.

That lesson changed the way I approached everything that came afterwards.

3. We Tried Again — This Time With Headphones

After our first two attempts, I wasn’t ready to give up completely.

I still believed there had to be a way to make getting a haircut more manageable for my child.

So we tried again.

This time, we changed one important thing.

I gave my child a pair of headphones and let them watch their favourite cartoon on the phone while listening to it directly through the headphones.

And honestly, there was a difference.

My child was much calmer than they had been during our previous attempts.

The headphones seemed to help reduce some of the noise and gave them something familiar to focus on.

But even with that change, they were still extremely unhappy and uncomfortable while I was cutting their hair.

And eventually, we stopped.

We packed everything away and counted our losses.

More importantly, we listened when our child said “no.”

That was a really important moment for me as a parent.

I wanted to solve the haircut problem so badly that I had been concentrating on finding a way to make the haircut happen.

But I also had to recognise when my child was telling me that something wasn’t okay.

Sometimes the answer isn’t to push harder.

Sometimes you need to stop, take a step back, and rethink the entire approach.

And that’s exactly what we did.

What Actually Worked for Getting My Autistic Child a Haircut?

After all those failed attempts, I decided I needed some help.

I reached out to a specialist because I wanted to understand what I could do differently.

I didn’t want another stressful experience for my child.

I wanted to find a way to make haircuts feel more predictable and manageable.

The advice I received completely changed the way we approached haircuts.

The biggest lesson was simple:

Preparation.

Not just telling my child that a haircut was coming.

Actually preparing them for the experience.

We needed to make the tools, sounds and process more familiar before expecting my child to sit through an entire haircut.

So we started preparing in advance.

Our Step-by-Step Haircut Preparation Plan

We followed this preparation approach every day for at least a week before the planned haircut.

The idea wasn’t to suddenly make my child love haircuts.

It was to gradually make the experience less unfamiliar.

1. We Brought Out the Hair Clippers and Scissors

One of the first things the specialist suggested was getting my child familiar with the tools they would encounter during the haircut.

Every day for about a week before the planned haircut, I brought out the clippers and scissors.

I let my child touch them.

Hold them.

Look at them.

And, when they were comfortable enough, turn on the clippers so they could hear the sound and experience the vibration.

This gave my child the opportunity to explore the tools without immediately having to have their hair cut.

That distinction was important.

The clippers were no longer something that suddenly appeared next to their head.

They were something my child had already seen and experienced.

My child still didn’t particularly like the sound of the clippers.

But the repeated exposure seemed to make the sound less frightening.

And that gave us something to build on.

2. We Used a Timer and a Reward System

The next thing we introduced was a timer.

We started with a very short amount of time — just 10 seconds.

The aim was to keep the exposure short enough that my child could manage it.

Once they became more comfortable, we gradually increased the amount of time.

And after the timer finished, my child received a reward.

Sometimes it was their favourite treat, gummy bears.

Other times, it was a minute of watching their favourite show.

The reward gave my child something positive to look forward to after completing the short exposure.

Over time, this helped us gradually build up their tolerance to the sound and sensation of the clippers.

I also learned something important here:

You don’t have to start with the entire haircut.

You can start tiny.

Ten seconds can be enough.

Then you can build from there if your child is comfortable.

3. We Found a Salon With Experience Working With Autistic Children

This was the real game-changer for us.

After our experiences at home, I started calling different salons.

I wasn’t looking for somewhere fancy.

I was looking for someone who actually understood autistic children and would be willing to take things slowly.

Eventually, I found a salon that had experience working with autistic children.

And the difference was incredible.

The stylist was incredibly patient.

The salon had clearly thought about making the environment comfortable for children.

The chairs were shaped like cars.

There were toys and sensory-friendly items around the salon.

And, perhaps most importantly for us, the stylist didn’t expect my child to immediately sit down and have their hair cut.

The children were allowed to explore the tools before the haircut even began.

That was exactly the kind of environment I had been looking for.

So we made an appointment for the next available slot, which was a few weeks away.

And that actually worked in our favour.

It gave us even more time to prepare.

4. We Made Haircuts Part of Our Routine

Once we’d found the salon, I wanted to make sure we didn’t treat every haircut as a completely new event.

So we started going back to the same salon regularly.

We aimed for a haircut every 6–8 weeks.

The idea was to make the experience predictable.

The same place.

A familiar environment.

A familiar stylist.

A familiar sequence of events.

For my child, that predictability became really important.

Instead of:

“What’s happening? Where are we going? What’s that noise?”

the experience gradually became something they recognised.

They knew where we were going.

They knew what the salon looked like.

They knew that a haircut was coming.

And they knew that it would eventually be over.

Why Routine Became So Important to Us

As an autistic person myself, I understand how difficult changes to a familiar routine can sometimes feel.

The world can already feel unpredictable.

When something unexpected happens, it can be difficult to know what is coming next.

That was something I started thinking about when I looked at my child’s experience with haircuts.

A haircut wasn’t simply about having their hair shortened.

It meant going somewhere, sitting in a particular chair, having someone touch their head, hearing unfamiliar sounds, feeling hair fall onto their skin and seeing their appearance change.

That’s a lot to process.

And then there was something I hadn’t really considered before:

My child’s appearance was going to change.

Looking in the mirror every morning and seeing a different version of yourself can be an adjustment too.

For my child, the whole experience involved much more than the actual haircut.

So making haircuts predictable became one of the most helpful things we could do.

The Big Lesson: Don’t Assume You Know What Your Child Needs

Looking back at everything we tried, I think this was probably the biggest lesson for me.

I had started out believing that because I knew my child well, I would automatically know what would make a haircut easier.

I thought home would be better.

I thought familiar people would make it better.

I thought favourite cartoons and treats would be enough.

Sometimes they helped a little.

But none of those things solved the actual problem.

What finally helped was taking a step back and looking at the entire experience from my child’s perspective.

The goal wasn’t:

“How do I make my child sit still for a haircut?”

The goal became:

“How can I make this experience feel safer and more predictable for my child?”

That small change in the way I thought about it made a huge difference.

Preparing for the Big Day

By the time the actual haircut appointment came around, we’d done quite a lot of preparation.

My child had already seen the scissors.

They had experienced the clippers.

They had practised with short periods of exposure.

They knew there would be a reward afterwards.

And they were going back to a salon we’d already chosen because the stylist had experience working with autistic children.

For the first proper haircut at the salon, we also made another important decision.

We didn’t use the clippers.

The stylist used scissors instead.

It meant we weren’t trying to tackle every difficult sensory experience at once.

We could take things slowly.

And that decision turned out to be incredibly important.

Because finally, after all those attempts at home…

we were getting somewhere.

The Big Day: How We Finally Got My Autistic Child a Haircut Successfully

After all the preparation, the day of the haircut finally arrived.

And honestly, I was nervous.

I had been through enough failed attempts by this point to know that just because we’d prepared didn’t necessarily mean everything would go perfectly.

But something happened at the salon that I hadn’t expected.

There was another child having their hair cut before it was my child’s turn.

And actually?

I thought this was brilliant.

Watching Another Child Have a Haircut

Before it was my child’s turn, they were able to sit and watch another child have their hair cut.

And that child was so well behaved.

My child got to see exactly what was going to happen.

They could watch the child sit in the chair.

They could see the stylist cutting their hair.

They could see that the scissors weren’t hurting them.

And, perhaps most importantly, they could see what was expected.

It was almost like a real-life demonstration.

Instead of me trying to explain:

“This is what is going to happen when you have your haircut.”

my child could actually see it happening right in front of them.

For my child, that was really helpful.

They had something concrete to watch.

They could see that the other child was okay.

And they could begin to understand what their own turn would look like.

Sometimes I think we underestimate how powerful it can be for our children to see something rather than simply being told about it.

The Salon Environment Made a Huge Difference

When it was finally my child’s turn, they were much more at ease than they had been during our previous attempts.

The salon had been chosen specifically because the stylist had experience working with autistic children.

That made a huge difference.

The environment was designed with children’s sensory needs in mind, and the stylist was incredibly patient.

There was no rushing.

There was no pressure to get everything done as quickly as possible.

My child was allowed to take breaks when needed.

And for this first successful salon haircut, the stylist made another really important adjustment.

She used scissors instead of clippers.

That might sound like a small thing.

For us, it wasn’t.

We had already learned that the sound and vibration of clippers could be extremely uncomfortable for my child.

So there was no reason to introduce that extra sensory challenge if we didn’t have to.

We kept things as simple as possible.

One step at a time.

And Then Something Amazing Happened

My child stayed calm throughout the haircut.

I honestly couldn’t believe it.

After everything we’d been through at home, seeing my child sitting calmly while someone cut their hair felt like a huge achievement.

And yes, we still used headphones.

My child still watched their favourite show.

Those familiar comforts were still important.

But this time, the difference wasn’t just the cartoon or the headphones.

It was the whole experience.

The preparation.

The familiar environment.

The patient stylist.

Being able to watch another child first.

Using scissors instead of clippers.

Knowing what was coming.

And having the freedom to take breaks.

All of those little things came together.

And guess what?

There were no tears.

No screaming.

No meltdown.

My autistic child made it through the entire haircut.

I was so incredibly proud.

And, honestly, I was relieved too.

After all those attempts, we’d finally found something that worked for us.

No meltdown.

My autistic child made it through the entire haircut.

I was so incredibly proud.

And, honestly, I was relieved too.

After all those attempts, we’d finally found something that worked for us.

What I Would Do Differently If I Had to Start Again

Looking back now, I wouldn’t expect my child to simply tolerate a haircut because I had decided it was time.

I would prepare much earlier.

I would find out what parts of the experience were likely to be difficult.

I would look for a stylist who had experience with autistic children.

And most importantly, I would pay attention to what my child was communicating.

Because our failed attempts weren’t actually failures.

They taught me what didn’t work.

And that helped me understand what my child needed.

My Practical Tips for Getting an Autistic Child a Haircut

If you’re currently trying to figure out how to get your autistic child through a haircut, these are the things that helped us most.

Use Headphones and a Familiar Screen

If your child finds salon noise overwhelming, headphones may help reduce some of that noise.

We also used my child’s favourite show on a phone or tablet.

It gave them something familiar to focus on during the haircut.

Of course, every child is different, so don’t worry if screens aren’t helpful for your child.

The important thing is finding something that makes your child feel more comfortable.

Have a Reward Ready

We found rewards really helpful.

Before the haircut, we would talk about what would happen afterwards.

For example, we would take our child to a “stay and play” as their reward.

They absolutely loved it and eventually began looking forward to it.

I wanted my child to start associating the haircut with something positive.

The haircut wasn’t the end of the world.

There was something enjoyable waiting afterwards.

Show Your Child What a Haircut Looks Like

Visual preparation was another thing that helped us.

Before the haircut, I made sure my child had seen other children getting their hair cut.

We watched videos together.

I also showed my child pictures of friends or family members who had recently had their hair trimmed.

This gave them a visual idea of what a haircut actually looked like.

For some children, seeing something happen can be much easier to understand than simply being told about it.

Put Haircut Day on the Calendar

I also found it helpful to put “haircut week” on the calendar.

We aimed for a haircut roughly every six weeks or so, so it became something my child could see coming.

Rather than the haircut suddenly appearing out of nowhere, it became part of the routine.

Make Haircut Preparation Fun

This is one thing I really tried to do.

I didn’t want to talk about the haircut as though something terrible was about to happen.

So I made a big deal out of it.

I’d say things like:

“Today is Thursday, baby. Saturday is your haircut! WOOOHOOO!”

Then Friday would come:

“OOOOOHHHHH! It’s Saturday tomorrow! You have your haircut tomorrow!”

And on Saturday:

“Hello baby! Your haircut is later! YAAAAY!”

I know it probably sounds ridiculous to some people.

But I wanted my child to hear excitement in my voice.

I didn’t want to communicate fear or worry.

I wanted the haircut to become something familiar.

Something we talked about.

Something that was coming.

Something that would eventually be finished.

Try to Stay Calm Yourself

This one is difficult.

Especially when you’ve already had several difficult experiences.

But I found that I needed to manage my own anxiety too.

Our children can pick up on our emotions.

If I’m nervous and acting as though something frightening is about to happen, my child may have even more reason to think there is something to be afraid of.

So I tried to stay calm and positive.

That doesn’t mean pretending everything is fine when your child is genuinely distressed.

It means trying not to add your own panic to an already overwhelming situation.

And if your child needs to stop?

Stop.

That’s something I learned the hard way.

Create a Simple Step-by-Step Haircut Chart

Another thing I found helpful was creating a simple visual sequence showing what would happen.

Something along the lines of:

Go to the salon → Sit in the chair → Hair gets wet (if needed) → Hair gets cut → Watch favourite show → Haircut finished → Reward

The exact steps will obviously depend on your child and the salon.

But the principle is the same:

Familiarity can make an unfamiliar experience feel less overwhelming.

Your child can see what is coming next instead of having to figure everything out as it happens.

Find a Hairdresser With Experience With Autistic Children

If I could give one piece of advice based on our experience, this would be high on my list.

Call around.

I called every child focused salon I could find within about a 35 minute driving distance.

I was willing to travel further if it meant finding someone who understood autistic children and could make the experience less stressful.

I specifically asked whether the hairdressers had experience working with autistic children.

And I was actually surprised by the answers.

Most of the salons I contacted didn’t have much experience.

Only two of the salons I spoke to had hairdressers with experience working with autistic children.

I then researched those two salons carefully to work out which environment I thought would be most comfortable for my child.

It took time.

But for us, it was worth it.

The right stylist made such a difference.

Don’t Be Afraid to Try Again — But Don’t Force It

One of the biggest things I learned from our experience is that there is a difference between preparing your child and forcing your child.

Preparation gave my child a chance to understand what was happening.

It gave them opportunities to become familiar with the tools.

It allowed us to introduce things gradually.

But when my child was genuinely distressed during our home attempts, we stopped.

That mattered.

Our goal was never simply to get the haircut finished at any cost.

We wanted to find a way for our child to have their hair cut while feeling as safe and comfortable as possible.

And eventually, we did.

Final Thoughts: Our Haircut Journey

Getting my autistic child a haircut was a much bigger challenge than I ever expected it to be.

We tried doing it at home.

We tried doing it ourselves.

We tried distractions.

We tried headphones.

And we had to accept that some of those approaches simply weren’t working.

Eventually, we stopped and listened to our child.

Then we sought professional advice.

We prepared.

We found a salon with experience working with autistic children.

We made haircuts predictable.

We used headphones and familiar entertainment.

We used rewards.

And we took things slowly.

The first successful haircut wasn’t about finding one magical trick.

It was about understanding that my child was experiencing the haircut differently from me.

Once I stopped thinking:

“How do I get my child to sit still?”

and started thinking:

“What can I change to make this experience easier for my child?”

everything changed.

If you’re currently struggling to get your autistic child a haircut, please don’t feel like you’re doing something wrong if it isn’t working.

You may simply need a different approach.

And if something doesn’t work?

That’s okay too.

Take a step back.

Listen to your child.

Try again when you’re ready.

You will eventually find what works best for your child.

Frequently Asked Questions About Haircuts for Autistic Children

Why can haircuts be difficult for autistic children?

Some autistic children may experience sensory differences that make parts of a haircut uncomfortable or overwhelming. This can include the sound of clippers, the sensation of hair falling onto the skin, someone touching their head, or the environment of a busy salon.

Every autistic child is different, so it’s important to understand your child’s individual sensitivities rather than assuming the same approach will work for everyone.

How can I prepare my autistic child for a haircut?

Preparation was one of the most helpful things we did.

You could try showing your child pictures or videos of haircuts, introducing the tools beforehand, using a visual schedule, putting the appointment on a calendar, and talking through what will happen before the day arrives.

For us, gradual preparation over the week before the haircut made the experience more familiar.

Should I take my autistic child to a specialist salon?

You don’t necessarily need a specialist salon, but finding a stylist who has experience working with autistic children can be extremely helpful.

In our case, finding a patient stylist who understood sensory needs made a huge difference.

What if my autistic child refuses to have a haircut?

Try not to view the refusal simply as “bad behaviour.”

Your child may be communicating that something about the experience is too uncomfortable or overwhelming.

In our case, we eventually stopped an unsuccessful attempt rather than continuing to push my child through it.

That gave us the opportunity to step back, seek advice and find a different approach.

Can headphones help during an autistic child’s haircut?

They helped my child.

Headphones gave my child access to a familiar show while also helping with some of the surrounding noise.

However, what helps one child may not help another, so it’s worth experimenting with different options before the actual haircut.