Being Autistic in a Minority Culture: A Personal Journey of Struggles, Stigma, and Survival

Good day, good afternoon, good evening! Wherever you are, thank you for stopping by to read my story.

This post is deeply personal, and I hope it resonates with some of you out there who might feel alone or misunderstood.

The title says it all: Being Autistic in a Minority Culture.

I am not just autistic myself, but I am also raising an autistic child. And both of us belong to a minority ethnicity.

Today, I will share my experience navigating life as an autistic individual within a minority community, touching on the particular challenges and stigmas we’ve faced.

I will also share how people from minority backgrounds have treated my autistic child once they learned about their diagnosis.

Whether you’re reading this because you’re curious about autism, trying to better understand others, or because you feel alone in your experiences, I hope my story helps.

It’s not easy being autistic, and it is even more complicated when you are part of a minority culture.

Let’s dive in.

The Stigma of Being Autistic in a Minority Culture

For many years, autism has been misunderstood.

In my opinion this confusion spans across both majority and minority communities.

In many circles, especially in minority cultures, the stigmas surrounding autism are often even more intense.

The lack of education and awareness has led to some pretty damaging stereotypes and misconceptions in my opinion.

One of the most common and harmful ideas is that autistic people are either intellectually behind or savants, particularly in subjects like math or physics.

There is often no room for the reality, which is that many autistic individuals are just regular people—neither geniuses nor people with extreme difficulties.

We are just somewhere in between, like most people.

But being autistic in a minority culture can come with even more loaded stereotypes.

There is this belief that if you are “different” or “weird,” there must be something wrong with you, that you are rude, antisocial, or incapable of holding a conversation.

In many cultures, especially those that highly value conformity, being autistic is not seen as something to be understood.

Instead, it is often something to hide or “correct.”

It can be incredibly isolating. You’re already feeling different because of your autism, and then your cultural background adds an extra layer of isolation.

People might treat you as if you are incapable of functioning in society, unworthy of friendship, or even unfit to become a parent.

My Personal Experience: Childhood, Autism, and a Minority Identity

Alright, this part is tough for me.

I have not shared this story much, as it brings back painful memories.

But I believe it is time to talk about it, and maybe it will be therapeutic for me too.

Childhood – being Autistic in a minority culture.

One of my earliest memories is of my tics/stims.

If you’re not familiar, tics/stims are repetitive, involuntary movements or sounds that some people with autism have.

I was around 5 or 6 years old when I started experiencing tics/stims, and I believe that’s when my autism first began to visibly show.

One particular memory stands out: we were in a supermarket, and every time I would tic/stim because of over stimulation, my sister would punch me.

Right there in public, in front of everyone. She would yell at me, telling me to “stop being weird.” This was the 90’s, after all, when awareness about autism and mental health was not exactly widespread.

The more anxious I became from the attention and embarrassment, the more my tics/stims would intensify. People would stop and stare, some would point, and others would laugh.

It felt like the world was closing in on me, and all I could do was tic/stim more.

Looking back, I am relieved there were no smartphones or social media back then; otherwise, I am sure videos of my humiliation would have been all over the internet.

My sister was just a child too, and she did not know any better.

She thought she was helping me by trying to stop my tics/stims, but it was not help at all. It was punishment.

My mother, too, saw my tics/stims as an embarrassment. She told me that I was making my sister look bad, especially in front of her friends, and if I wanted the punches to stop, I needed to “just stop ticking.”

Of course, it wasn’t that simple.

I needed to tic/stim. It was how I coped with my anxiety and how I managed my emotions.

But I eventually learned to hide my tics/stims, to make them less obvious so that my sister would not punch me, and so that the public would not point or laugh.

I began flexing and un-flexing my muscles in my neck, something I still do to this day.

It’s my little secret, a way to tic/stim without anyone noticing.

School Days: The Struggle of Fitting In as an Autistic Child in a Minority Background

My school years were not easy either. We lived in a rural area, and I was one of only eight students in the entire school from an ethnic minority background.

That’s right, out of several hundreds of kids, there were just eight of us who looked different.

I can not blame my sister for distancing herself from me at school.

It must have been hard for her too, trying to fit in while being related to the “weird kid.”

It was a matter of survival for her, and I understand that now.

But at the time, it was painful to be so isolated.

I was lucky enough to have two good friends who didn’t care about my tics or my darker skin and hair.

Their friendship made my early school years more bearable.

But not everyone was so accepting. I remember one instance where an entire class was invited to a birthday party except for me.

When I asked why I wasn’t invited, I was told flat-out: “You’re a weirdo, and people like you aren’t allowed in our house. My parents said so.”

I heard similar things from other kids as well. They would tell me I was strange or different, and eventually, I started believing them.

Over time, I developed severe self-esteem issues. I became a perfectionist, constantly afraid of being left out or judged.

I felt ashamed of who I was, embarrassed to express myself or let anyone see the real me.

Those early years shaped me in ways I’m still grappling with today.

The combination of being autistic in a minority community made me feel like an outsider in every possible way.

I have written a post on how to choose the best schools for a child who is autistic in a minority culture. I have gathered everything I possibly could to find the best school for my autistic child who is also a part of a minority ethnicity.

If you wish to read more about that you can click on that post here

Pressure to Conform to Cultural Norms

Being autistic in a minority community often means living in a world where cultural expectations are rigid.

Ours are!

Our people place a strong emphasis on family values, traditions, and behaving in socially acceptable ways. Unfortunately, being autistic in a minority community, means I struggled with these expectations due to my difficulties in social interaction, communication, and understanding social cues.

Fitting in is crucial.

I was autistic in a minority community and I was seen as “weird” and “disobedient” simply because I could not conform to these societal rules.

Autistic individuals often process the world differently, and when those differences clash with cultural norms, it can lead to conflict, misunderstandings, or even punishment.

I remember being seriously scolded for taking a candy when we went to visit an older lady’s house who was also from our community after she offered it for me.

Being a child, I wanted a candy and was offered a candy. So I took it.

However, even though I was autistic in a minority community, I was expected to know that even if I wanted a candy, and I was offered a candy, I was not allowed to take the candy.

Because then my family is seen as stingy regarding them not giving me candy at home. Which is what would make me want a strangers candy.

Being autistic in minority culture, I was expected to know this! My brain simply could not come around to it though.

Other situations that proved I was autistic in a minority culture, is that if you are offered a seat, you must say no if the host has not sat down yet.

I was offered a seat and so I sat down. Which I received a very big scolding for!

Being autistic in a minority culture, meant I had to memorize a lot of rules that made no sense to me.

For people who are autistic in a minority culture, not having these things come naturally to us means we are seen as “different” in ways that are not understood or accepted by those around us.

Family Dynamics: Autism, Denial, and the Cultural Stigma of being Autistic in a Minority Community

Now, let’s talk about family.

This part is the most difficult for me to reflect on because it touches on some deep wounds.

My family, like many in minority cultures, didn’t know how to handle my autism.

One of the biggest hurdles for people who are autistic in a minority community is breaking through cultural barriers to get the help they need.

In many minority communities, seeking help for mental health issues is frowned upon or seen as unnecessary.

Families might worry that accepting an autism diagnosis will reflect poorly on them or that the community will judge them.

So when my teacher noticed my tics/stims and raised concerns, it was a big deal.

Mental health was not openly discussed in the 90’s, especially not in my family’s cultural background.

But that teacher tried to help me, more than my own family did at the time. Thank You Mrs Bente. Just, Thank You! I will always be grateful to you.

Unfortunately, my family’s response was to deny that anything was wrong.

My mother did not want me to be labeled as a child who was autistic in our minority culture.

In our homeland, people with mental health issues are often shunned, bullied and isolated. My mother feared that fate for me. So, she chose denial.

She convinced herself, and tried to convince me, that I was just a “late bloomer.”

• A late talker,
• A late walker,
• A late socializer.

She told herself I would catch up eventually and that I just needed time.

But time did not change the fact that I was autistic, and by denying it, I was left without the help and support I desperately needed.

This means I had no help. No therapy, or anything to help me cope. Nobody to understand me and nobody to help me understand myself.

And last of all. I had no one I could speak to. No one I could confide in.

Nothing.

Raising a child who is Autistic in a Minority Culture: Breaking the Cycle

Now, as a parent of an autistic child myself, I am determined to break that cycle.

My child will not grow up feeling ashamed of who they are.

They will know that they are loved, valued, and accepted for who they are, not despite their autism but because of it.

The stigma surrounding being autistic in a minority community still exists, but I refuse to let it define my child’s experience.

Unlike my own childhood, where I was denied support, my child has two parents who understand what they’re going through and who will fight for them every step of the way.

Let your Autistic child know they are loved.

That it is okay to be themselves.

Let them know that they are beautiful.

And that they are special.

And tell them that no matter what.

• You will support them.
• You will be there for them.

And most importantly

• You will never, ever be embarrassed of them. Because, at the end of the day, being different is what makes us human. And that’s something to be celebrated, not hidden.

If you or someone you know is autistic in a minority community, it’s important to reach out for support. There are resources available, and it is essential to break down the barriers that prevent people from getting the help they need.

By having open conversations, we can start to change the way anyone who is autistic in a minority community and help create a more inclusive, understanding world for everyone.

By raising awareness, educating families, and providing support, we can help those who are autistic in a minority ethnic community feel seen, valued, and understood.

A Message to Those Who Feel Alone

If you’re autistic in a minority culture, or if you know someone who is, please know that you are not alone. I see you. I understand you. And I’m here for you.

No one should have to go through life feeling ashamed of who they are or afraid to express themselves.

Being different isn’t a curse; it’s a gift. And no matter what society or culture might say, you deserve love, support, and acceptance.

An excellent book to read on how to support a person with Autism is Teaching and Behavior Support for Children and Adults with Autism Spectrum Disorder: A Practitioner’s Guide – Although it is not specific to being autistic in a minority culture or being autistic in a minority ethnicity, I found it to be a very good read!