How to Handle Autism Learning and Development Regression in Autistic Children.
Let us talk about something that might feel frustrating and even heartbreaking as a parent of an autistic child – regression in autistic children. It is when your autistic child suddenly seems to lose a skill they have already learned. Maybe they were potty trained and started having accidents again, or they used to say words that they have stopped saying. If this sounds familiar, you are not alone. Regression in autistic children happens, and it is something many of us go through. It definitely feels like as soon as we make progress and take Two Steps Forward, we have to take One Step Back. The good news? It is not permanent, and you can help your child move forward again.Without further ado! Good Morning, Good Afternoon or Good Evening Ladies and Gentlemen.
What is Regression in Autistic Children?
Regression in autistic children is when they forget or unlearn something they have mastered before. It is like taking two steps forward and one step back. It can happen for many reasons, but a big one is that their brains are simply wired differently. I know this because I am an autistic mom with an autistic child. And let me tell you – our brains work in amazing ways, but sometimes regression in autistic children happen because they get extremely overwhelmed. For autistic kids, everything they experience can feel more intense. Changes in their environment, new routines, or even over stimulation from an exciting day can create a lot of stress. When our brains are under pressure, they might “let go” of some skills to protect themselves. It is not because we are not capable or are not really trying – it is just how our minds cope with overload.Why Does Regression in Autistic Children Happen?
Basically our brains are filled with so much information that whenever we try to put new information inside our heads. We are already so filled up. And our brain cannot put unimportant information to the back of our minds. Because we cannot process what is important and what is not important information. So. In order for our brains to protect itself and not completely go crazy with too much overloads of information. Our minds ‘forget’. Hence a regression. Imagine your brain as a suitcase, and every new piece of information is like packing an extra shirt. For autistic kids, their suitcase fills up quickly. The brain has trouble deciding what is most important to keep and what can be stored away. When it is too full, it has to make space by forgetting something – even if it is a skill they have already worked hard to learn. Big changes are a common trigger for regression in autistic children. Such as:- Starting school,
- Moving to a new house, or even
- Welcoming a new sibling
Sensory over-stimulation
Disruptions to sensory processing are common causes of regression in autistic children. Each child is unique, but there are several types of sensory experiences that can trigger these regressions in autistic children: (Sources – Curriculum for Autism)- Auditory Overload: Loud or unexpected noises, such as alarms, crowded environments, or even everyday household sounds, can overwhelm a child. Constant auditory stimulation can lead to withdrawal or loss of previously learned communication or social skills.
- Visual Overstimulation: Bright lights, flashing patterns, or visually cluttered spaces can create a sense of chaos for autistic children, making it harder for them to focus or retain skills.
- Tactile Sensory Issues: Changes in clothing textures, sudden touches, or unfamiliar physical sensations (like sand, water, or grass) might cause distress, leading to avoidance behaviors or a regression in motor or self-care skills.
- Changes in Routine: Even slight changes in the sensory environment, such as moving to a new home, a new school, or traveling to a different place, can disrupt their sense of predictability and lead to sensory overload.
- Temperature and Environmental Changes: Overly hot or cold environments, or swimming in cold water without preparation, can be overwhelming. These experiences can be particularly distressing if the child was not introduced gradually to these sensations.
- Crowds and Social Environments: The combination of unfamiliar faces, physical closeness, and unpredictable movements in social settings can create sensory chaos, which may lead to anxiety and temporary skill loss.
- Physical Discomfort: A child experiencing an unrecognized health issue – like an ear infection, gastrointestinal discomfort, or allergies – might have heightened sensitivity, causing sensory processing challenges and regression.
Additional Reading,
The book, ‘Sensory and Motor Strategies (3rd edition): Practical Ways to Help Autistic Children and Young People Learn and Achieve‘ offers guidance to parents on understanding and addressing the sensory and motor challenges that often accompany regression in autistic children. Regression in autistic children can sometimes occur when a child’s sensory system becomes overwhelmed or when changes disrupt their sense of stability. This book helps parents identify these sensory triggers and provides actionable strategies to create supportive environments for their children. By offering tips on how to adjust routines, use sensory-friendly tools, and engage children through activities tailored to their unique sensory needs, the book equips parents to address the underlying causes of regression in autistic children.
What Can You Do About Regression in Autistic Children?
Here is the thing – regression in autistic children is a normal part of the autism journey. You can not always stop it from happening, but you can help your child through it and support them as they re-learn those skills.- Give Them Time: The first step is to let your child adjust to whatever is causing the regression. Whether it is a new school, a change in routine, or a sensory overload, give them the space to settle before jumping back into teaching the skill again. Pushing too soon can backfire.
- Be Patient: I know it is hard, especially when you have already worked so hard to teach them something the first time. But remember, your child is not choosing to forget – they are just overwhelmed. Take a deep breath and go slow.
- Break It Down: Repetition is Key: Consistently practicing skills in a stress free way can help your child regain what they have lost. Break tasks into smaller steps if needed. For example, if potty training was the skill they regressed in, go back to the basics like sitting on the toilet fully clothed or rewarding them for trying.
- Stay Positive: As frustrating as regression in autistic children can be, avoid showing your child your stress or disappointment. Your child can feel your emotions. If you are frustrated or upset, they might think they have done something wrong or that there is no point in trying.
- Be Consistent: Practice makes progress, even if it feels like you are starting over. Consistency and routine can help your child feel secure and make it easier for them to relearn the skill.
- Celebrate Progress: Every small win is a step forward, even if it feels like you’re starting over. Celebrate your child’s efforts, not just the outcome.
Learning to Ride the Waves of Regression in Autistic Children
Regression in autistic children can feel like you are being tested as a parent, but here is what I have learned. It is not just about our children learning how to overcome challenges; it is about us as parents learning how to support them through it. I have had moments where I sat quietly after a tough day, questioning whether I was doing enough or doing things right. But then, I remember that parenting is not about perfection. It is about showing up every day with love and patience, even when it is hard. And honestly? That is where the magic happens. There was a time when my child completely stopped using words they had been confidently saying for months. I was heartbroken and scared. I remember thinking, “What if they never speak again?” But I took a step back and reminded myself: this is a phase, not a permanent state. We focused on connection rather than correction. I started using more gestures, creating visual aids, and speaking slower with simple words. Slowly but surely, their words started coming back, and each one felt like a little miracle. Regression teaches us resilience, both as parents and for our kids.It is Hard, But You Are Not Alone. It is Okay to Feel Frustrated
Let us be real. It can be tough as a parent to watch your child struggle or move backward after making progress. I have been there. I have felt the frustration, the sadness, and even the anger. I have felt the heartbreak of having to watch my autistic child struggle or lose a skill they worked so hard to learn. It is especially hard when you see other kids their age hitting milestones and moving forward, while your child seems stuck or going in reverse. It is hard for a parent of an Autistic child to watch them regress. I say this with the greatest love. Whenever you teach something to your Autistic child, the relief when they get it and they can be on a similar page to other children is such a relief and there is a feeling of happiness which I cannot explain. Then a regression happens! But here is what I remind myself of during those hard moments: my child’s journey is their own. They are not on anyone else’s timeline. Comparing them to other kids will not help, and it definitely will not make them feel supported.
How to Move Forward
Just remember that regression in autistic children do not last forever. With time, patience, and love, your child can regain those skills and continue to grow. Here is what I have learned:- Focus on Progress, Not Perfection: Every little step forward is a win. Celebrate it!
- Do Not Show Frustration: Your child needs to see that you believe in them, even when things feel hard.
- Take Care of Yourself: It is okay to feel sad or frustrated, but talk to someone about it. Whether it is a friend, a support group, or a therapist, letting it out will help you stay strong for your child.