How to Stop My Autistic Child Wandering Off: A Personal Journey
When my autistic child started Year 1 at school, I thought we were entering a new chapter of routine and security. I pictured them learning, playing, and thriving in a safe and structured environment.
What I did not imagine was getting a call just one week into the term, telling me my child had left their classroom. My autistic child wondered off out of the school, and was found on the street.
My heart dropped.
The fear, shock, and guilt overwhelmed me.
How could this happen?
How did they slip past teachers, staff, and everyone else?
We already knew my autistic child wandering off was an issue for our child. Holidays, for example, were exhausting. A simple family meal would turn into a chaotic chase after our little adventurer, no matter how many times we said, “Stay where you can see us.”
After the school incident, we had a long talk with the school psychologist and an autism specialist to figure out why this kept happening and how to manage it better.
What we learned changed the way we looked at what causes my autistic child wandering off. It was not about defiance or being naughty. For my autistic child wandering off – or “eloping,” as professionals call it is a way of coping with sensory overwhelm or seeking something they need.
Why Is My Autistic Child Wandering Off?
When the world feels too loud, too bright, or just too much, an autistic child wandering off may feel a powerful need to escape. An autistic child wandering off becomes their way to find relief from sensory overload.
Other times, an autistic child wandering off might be out of curiosity, trying to find something they have been thinking about or drawn to.
For example, a favorite park, a shiny object, or even a familiar sound can spark their attention and pull them away from their current environment.
Autistic kids often process the world differently. They may not fully grasp the dangers of traffic, strangers, or getting lost.
Their brains are focused on their immediate need, like reducing sensory input or seeking something that comforts them.
The biggest reason for this is because of over stimulation.
Unfortunately, this puts them in risky situations, and it is up to us as parents and caregivers to create safeguards while helping them learn.
Autistic children, and Autistic adults also have the need, more than the average person, to have some time off.
When smells, sounds, lights and whatnot become too overpowering for an Autistic person. They feel an immense need to leave.
Have a change. Go somewhere else.
Shake it off.
We MUST do something else to turn off. For an autistic child wandering off – usually does the trick.
Autistic Children and Autistic Adult’s brains are much more sensitive to outside stimuli. If a break is not given or taken for the Autistic person, it can lead to a spike in anxiety, a rise in panic and also serious disarray of the mind.
Which can lead to an Autistic person putting themselves in dangerous situations without really meaning to.
If you want to read more about that, you may find this book very interesting, “Sensory Issues and High-Functioning Autism Spectrum and Related Disorders“.
I have written a post about ways you can play with your Autistic in a way that can lead them to better handling external stimuli and also get them to be able to better cope with outside sensory stimulation.
You can read that post here, “10 Best Sensory Toys/Play for Children with Autism“.
Strategies That Worked for Us
After that frightening experience, we focused on understanding our child’s needs and putting measures in place to keep them safe.
These strategies took time and patience, but they made a big difference.
1. Repeating Rules Every Day
We started with the basics: teaching rules and repeating them constantly. We would say:
- “Stay where you can see us.”
- “If you can’t hear us, come back right away.”
- “Never follow strangers.”
We repeated these phrases so much they probably got tired of hearing them, but that was the point.
We even printed these rules and hung them by the door, so they would see them every time we left the house.
2. Role-Playing What to Do
We practiced scenarios at home, like what to do if they got separated from us or if a stranger approached them. Role playing made it less scary and more like a game.
We acted out situations where they needed to find help or come back to us. My child found it easier to learn this way rather than just listening to me talk about it.
3. Coping Tools for Sensory Overload
We realized that my autistic child wandering off often happened because my child was overwhelmed by their environment. Headphones became a game-changer.
They blocked out loud noises and gave them a sense of control during outings. At first, my autistic child did not like how the headphones felt, but with time and practice, they got used to them.
If your child enjoys music, an iPod or music player with calming songs can be a great addition. It gives them something to focus on and helps regulate their emotions when things get overwhelming.
It closes off one of the senses – hearing.
This can be a holy grail for someone who has a sensory overload. To literally be able to shut one of the senses off.
It can also really help calm down an Autistic child during their tantrums.
I have a post that I made a while back which helped my Autistic child cope with the pressures and stimulation of going out. Using headphones and also devices such as iPod, or even iPad.
If you want to read that post, you can find it here….
Although personally I prefer to reduce as much screen time as possible for my kids. So, the iPod only for listening is the best thing ever.
4. Safety Tools Like GPS Trackers
We invested in a GPS tracker and a smart watch with an SOS button. The tracker was small enough to slip into a pocket or attach to a shoe, and the watch let us call them directly if needed.
Knowing I could locate them quickly gave me peace of mind.
We also used whistles as an added layer of safety. We taught our child to blow the whistle if they felt scared or lost.
It took some practice since the loud noise was initially overwhelming for them, but it became a helpful tool over time.
5. Allowing Controlled Independence
I learned that completely stopping my autistic child wandering off was not realistic – or even beneficial. Instead, we found ways to let them explore safely.
For example, in a fenced park, I let them roam while keeping a close eye. This helped them feel more independent and confident while still being safe.
When we allowed small, supervised walks, they were less likely to bolt unexpectedly. It also reduced their anxiety, as they did not feel as restricted.
This helps recover your autistic child’s brain from being overwhelmed and gives your brain a clean slate to reboot and work properly again.
When everything becomes too much, it is good to step away and take some time off, in order to be able to think clearly again.
This is my Autistic child’s preferred method of coping.
My autistic child wandering off is what they NEED at that moment of time in their situation.
My child then comes back to rework on the task that they left behind to take a break from.
I prefer this, to my child being so overwhelmed and having no way to take a mental break.
What About Severe Cases?
If your autistic child wandering off continues to be a big safety concern, using a child leash might be necessary as a short term measure.
I know this can feel uncomfortable and even controversial, but keeping your child safe is the most important thing.
Let them know it is a temporary step while they learn safety rules. Once they have earned your trust, you can stop using it.
Teaching Safety Skills for the Long Term
We also focused on teaching traffic rules and safety skills.
Taking walks together became an opportunity to show them what stop signs mean, how to look both ways before crossing the street, and how to recognize safe places to go if they ever felt lost.
Books and videos about traffic safety helped reinforce these lessons.
The goal was not just to stop my autistic child wandering off but to empower them to navigate the world safely and independently as they grew older.
Teach your child traffic rules from an early age.
If you have to show them videos, or take them outside regularly till they know and understand what all the signs are for. Then that is just what you need to do.
Even if your autistic child wandering off happens, they can still be somewhat safe about it.
My Final Thoughts On Any Autistic Child Wandering Off
Any autistic child wandering off is a scary and challenging behavior to manage, but with the right tools and strategies, it can get better. Understanding why it happens and addressing your child’s sensory needs is a big part of the solution.
Do not be embarrassed if you need to use tools like trackers, whistles, or even a leash. Your child’s safety comes first, no matter what anyone else thinks.
Over time, with repetition, patience, and love, they will learn the skills they need to stay safe while gaining confidence and independence.
To every parent dealing with their autistic child wandering off: You are not alone. It is hard, but you are doing an amazing job protecting your child and helping them thrive.
Things for YOUR peace of mind
While I believe any autistic child wandering off should be done minimally, I do not want to cut it out completely.
The reason for this is because I believe that a child having that sense of independence is very important for them.
It can give them a sense of confidence and a feel of total control over themselves.
This will also help them feel more mature and like they have power over their decisions. Such as where they want to go and how they want to get there.
I find that when I allow my autistic child wandering off safely, while they still have the control and the decision on the direction of where your autistic child wandering off to, they become more confident and happier.
So, to conclude.
Teach your child safety rules. And traffic rules.
And then, if your autistic child wandering off is what is needed for them to relax, there are ways to keep them same and still be sure that they’re Okay.
You can do this by giving them:
- GPS Trackers
- Smart Watches
- Whistles
GPS Trackers
I personally prefer these.
Pros:
- They can fit into a pocket or sock or shoe or whatever.
- They are small, lightweight and can give you a live location of your child.
- So, if your child is lost, you can easily find them and track them.
Cons:
- Should your child get changed for PE, or take off their jacket or shoes etc they can easily lose the GPS tracker and also the signal will not be valid or accurate.
Smart Watches
Awesomeness upon awesome inventions.
Pros
- They have SOS buttons
- You can live call your child if you are concerned
- They also have a watch to be able to tell the time
- It has a built in GPS tracker so if your child gets lost you can easily find them
Cons
- These are awesome, however require a sim card.
- Also, the sim card is required to have money on it in order to work.
- Only certain sim cards work in the watches.
- And some schools demand that the watches are turned off during school hours.
- Also, it is like giving a young child a smartphone.
- You usually do not get only pure GPS trackers with the watch. These things have built in games and whatsapp and things like that.
Whistles
Give your child a whistle.
I recommend this for every parent out there who who have an autistic child wandering off.
Pros
- A whistle is like an alarm.
- It will alert everyone around your child to any possible danger your child might be in.
- You will also be able to hear the whistle should they blow into it in case of an emergency. And be able to get to them.
Cons
- Your Autistic child might be reluctant to actually blow the whistle because of the loud noise as, they themselves might find the sound too overwhelming.
- The whistle around the neck can be a choking hazard on a playground.
Leashes To Stop Autistic Child Wandering Off
I know they’re not a dog, or any animal for that matter.
But. If all else fails and there is even a slight possibility of my Autistic child wandering off into oncoming traffic, then I will not allow them the freedom of walking around freely outside.
Because them being safe trumps everything else.
Until the child learns the reasonable amount of space to walk away from their parent or caregiver every time they go outside, a leash will ensure that they remain safe and it might be the only option for some kids.
After a while, when you can trust them not to run off, stop using the leash.
And I do not even recommend starting with a leash immediately.
Let your child know the rules of walking by/near you. And if they abuse that trust that you put in them to allow the freedom of your autistic child wandering off, then let them know that the consequences of that will be that they will be put on a child leash.
And make good of your threat.
Allow them to earn back your trust and develop some self-control and then you can take the leash off of their bags or whatever you attach it onto.
Pros:
- Keeps your child away from traffic
- Shows them acceptable walking distance away from you.
- Teaches them road rules
- Autistic children tend to be quite visual. So having an exact amound of distance can be really helpful as well as knowing where to stop at traffic lights etc.
Cons:
- Your child feels like they’re being restricted.
- It is also worth noting that I only recommend the leash in severe cases where it really is the option in keeping the child safe.
- And finally it should only be used as a short term teaching strategy to get your child independent and responsible enough to understand road safety and be able to follow road safety rules. I do not think it would be good to use for any child long term.
- It can damage trust relations between the child and the caregiver and also lower the confidence of the child.
