Raising an autistic child comes with its unique set of joys and challenges.
As a parent, one of my main goals that I have is to help my autistic child be independent.
Fortunately, helping your autistic child become independent is very possible.
If you are looking for helpful resources, I highly recommend reading the book ‘Building Communication and Independence for Children Across the Autism Spectrum’ – This book shines a light on how you can guide your child toward independence, offering practical advice and hope that independence is achievable.
In this post, I will share strategies and tips I’ve learned along the way, both from my personal experiences and from resources like the book mentioned above, to help my autistic child be independent.
Let’s dive in!
Introduction
Hello! If you’re reading this, chances are you’re seeking ways to help your autistic child be independent.
As an autistic person myself and the parent of an autistic child, I know firsthand that independence is achievable, even if it takes time and patience.
No, I’m not claiming I have it all figured out.
Parenting is hard, and raising an autistic child can sometimes feel even harder.
But if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that independence creates confidence.
Helping your autistic child be independent not only gives them confidence but also allows them to through the world on their own terms.
Of course, teamwork and cooperation are essential life skills, but independence is also very important. It allows my child to thrive in situations where they may have to work alone or take the lead.
My goal is to help my autistic child be independent, so they can function fully in society, complete tasks on their own, and feel comfortable being alone without feeling lonely or overwhelmed.
This is what most parents, especially those raising autistic children, want for their kids – to be capable, functioning adults who can navigate the world with confidence and autonomy.
Some children and adults, especially those with Autism find it very intimidating to lead. Or be the head of a group. And suffer from anxiety and fear of public speaking.
Why Independence Matters
To make our autistic child be independent is about creating a safe path for them in society.
Independence is a big step toward feeling secure in their abilities and is crucial for our autistic children to function as adults.
Many autistic children can feel overwhelmed or anxious when they’re expected to lead, present themselves, or interact with others in new environments.
It’s common for kids with autism to feel self-conscious or intimidated by social judgment, so each step toward independence can help build the confidence they need to thrive.
I wish I had been helped and taught confidence as a child.
1. Motor Skills: A Key to Independence
One area that I really had to focus on was motor skills, which helps an autistic child be independent with everyday tasks.
Mastering motor skills makes it easier for them to dress, eat, play, and even go to the bathroom independently.
Some children on the spectrum may take a little longer to get there, like my autistic child, but with the right approach and patience, they can develop these essential skills.
There are many ways to help an autistic child be independent by improving their motor skills.
Activities and toys that focus on fine motor movements, like building blocks, puzzles, and sorting games, are excellent tools to begin with.
And since my autistic child learns best by mimicking, I was practicing these skills by modeling them step-by-step.
Some basic motor skills that can help an autistic child be independent include:
- Getting dressed on their own
- Using utensils to eat without help
- Closing and opening drawers
- Tidying up toys and making their bed
Each of these tasks builds confidence, little by little, and makes their day-to-day activities less dependent on others.
2. Simple Toys and Activities That Build Independence
There are many toys designed to help an autistic child be independent by developing motor skills and teaching them responsibility.
Here are a few simple ideas:
- Sorting Games: Sorting different colors, shapes, or objects to help build fine motor skills and organizational skills.
- Lacing Toys: These teach children how to lace shoes and improve their dexterity.
- Building Blocks: Activities like stacking and building improve hand-eye coordination and patience.
For more toy suggestions, check out my other post on motor-skill-building toys for autistic children. (You can read that post here)
3. Giving Your Child Responsibilities at Home
Chores and small household tasks can be a great way to help your autistic child be independent.
Here are some simple tasks that work well:
- Setting the Table: This teaches them about order and organization.
- Fetching the Mail: Going outside to get the mail teaches them responsibility and provides a chance to practice safe navigation.
- Helping with Trash: This is a simple yet important task that gives them a sense of contribution.
If your child is ready, assign them these small tasks every day.
The sense of accomplishment they get from completing them is invaluable, and it’s a big step toward making an autistic child be independent.
There are incredible ‘Montessori’ style dinner table set up mats that help children learn how to set the dinner table independently.
Montessori Techniques
I have found with my autistic child that the Montessori teaching method emphasizes independence and is especially helpful.
Montessori style setups can help an autistic child be independent by giving them practical tools for daily life.
Consider buying a Montessori dinner table setup mat, which shows them exactly where to place items like plates, spoons, and cups. I did this and I found that it helped teach my child visually where everything is supposed to go.
Encourage them to get involved with tasks like recycling and tidying up around the house.
It is very important to allow children to experience the responsibility of cleaning up after themselves, and this approach can make an autistic child be independent by giving them a clear sense of what needs to be done, without too many complicated steps.
Things like helping with the gardening is always fun and can take up to a whole day. And my kids absolutely kids love this.
4. Potty Training and Self-Care
Teaching self care to an autistic child is, in my opinion, one of the most important things you can do.
- When their hands are dirty and they notice, they should wash them well.
- When their mouths have food reside, they should learn to wash their mouths,
- Teaching my autistic child how to brush their own teeth was also very important for them
- Allowing them to put cream on their body if their skin is dry
- My autistic child also proudly is now able to wash a small wound and put a plaster on themselves.
Potty training is another big milestone on the road to independence.
Learning to use the bathroom independently is a significant achievement for any child, and for an autistic child, it’s a big step in building self-confidence.
Potty training can help your autistic child be independent in social settings, where they won’t have to worry about needing help.
Patience and encouragement are key.
Use clear steps, and practice consistency.
When they master this, they’ll feel more capable of going out to events or gatherings without fear of embarrassment.
I have a post on how I effectively potty trained my child with Autism. And it worked for my kid.
Really well..
See that post here..
Potty training and Self-Care are essential for an autistic child because it reduces their anxiety in certain situations.
Knowing what to do when you are faced with a situation is very important. I have seen such a big change in the confidence of my autistic child as soon as they mastered these two skills.
I will still need to, on occasion remind my autistic child to wipe their mouth. However, I do not need to do it for them anymore.
5. Teaching Table Manners and Using Cutlery
Learning how to use utensils and eat properly is an essential life skill that can help your autistic child be independent in both social and practical ways.
Being able to feed themselves confidently means they can join others at meals without feeling anxious.
Also, when my autistic child learnt how to use utensils and how to eat their food properly, they also became much more open to trying new foods.
Teaching these skills can be slow, and that’s okay! You can practice at every meal, using gentle prompts if necessary.
Positive reinforcement goes a long way here—celebrate their progress, no matter how small, to help build confidence.
I also have a post on this – which you can read here…
6. Self-Dressing
One of the most effective ways to help an autistic child be independent is by teaching them to dress themselves.
It might take patience (and lots of backward socks!), but mastering this skill helps them feel in control and prepared for the world.
One trick to make putting on outerwear easier is to lay out open
- Jackets,
- Jumpers, or
- Coats
With the hood closest to them open, sleeves open, and have them slip their hands in to the sleeve holes, swing the jacket over their heads and then put it on.
Self-dressing means they can feel comfortable going to activities or outings without fearing mishaps, like needing to change clothes.
This technique is actually a very well known Montessori method of teaching children how to get dressed.
Both my non Autistic child and my Autistic child use that technique. It is really simple and works really well.
7. Try your best not to baby your autistic child?
I know from experience how tempting it is to baby an autistic child.
To step in every time they struggle with something and do it for them – just to make their life easier and their struggles a little less!
But if your goal is to make your autistic child be independent, sometimes you need to step back. It is very important to allow them the chance to try things alone.
By resisting the urge to jump in too quickly, you give them room to figure things out.
Independence takes courage, and courage often comes from facing challenges head-on.
Of course, every child is different, and they will need guidance and reminders. Just be sure to avoid doing everything for them, as hard as it might be.
A Word on Safety
While it’s essential to encourage independence, safety should always come first.
Practice independence in environments where they feel comfortable, and start with activities you can supervise from a distance.
With time, these independent steps will feel natural, and they will grow more confident and more comfortable.
Disclaimer
I know it is difficult to have a child on the spectrum and it is very nerve wracking as a parent to think that your child has a disadvantage and eventually will be left on their own in the outside world with that disadvantage.
That same thing that others might use as a point to abuse them or look down on them with.
But if your goal is similar to mine and it is to socialise your Autistic child into the real world and allow them the freedom to roam that real world as they please among every other type of human possible – then stop with the babying.
I myself am very guilty of babying my Autistic child.
I try to catch myself out on it and not do it or stop myself from doing it as soon as I notice I am doing it.
As hard as it is.
Leave them some time to figure out stuff on their own.
Don’t baby them.
It will do them no good.
Take it one step at a time, stay patient, and remember: each small accomplishment is a giant leap toward independence.
By encouraging their independence and letting them learn through trial and error, you are giving them the best possible tools for a successful, fulfilling future.