Choosing a school for an autistic child can be one of the most important decisions a parent makes. It definitely felt that way for us!
Schools play a crucial role in shaping a child’s education, social development, and emotional well-being.
For a child with autism, this choice can become harder due to the unique support and accommodations they may need while at school.
In this post, we’ll dive into the various types of schools you can consider when choosing a school for an autistic child.
Whether you’re considering public, private, homeschooling, or specialized schools, each option comes with its own set of benefits and challenges.
I will also include the decisions we made and why we made them for our own autistic child.
A good book to read about this topic is, ‘School Success for Kids With High-Functioning Autism‘ which provides insightful guidance on how to help children with autism thrive in a school setting.
Understanding Your Child’s Needs
I am an autistic mother to an autistic child. I have my own personal experiences from both state school and private school.
I know which struggles my autistic child can face when going to either state school or to private school.
It is important to know that not all autistic children react the same, and everyone has different sensory needs. What worked for me and for my child might not work with your child because not one gloves fits us all.
However, I will try my best to lay out all the experiences I had and reasons why I think some things could have gone better.
I believe that the first step in choosing a school for an autistic child is understanding your child’s individual needs.
Autism is a spectrum, meaning that each child has their own strengths, challenges, and preferences.
For some children, a mainstream classroom with minimal support might work well. For others, a more specialized environment with trained professionals may be essential.
Consider what your goals are as a parent.
What do you want for your child?
Do you want them to be in a mainstream classroom where they can learn alongside neurotypical peers?
Or would a specialized school that caters to their unique needs be a better fit
The answer depends on your child’s specific strengths and challenges.
Going to a mainstream school is not the only form of education for a child and so I will speak about the various different types of school and what it might mean for a child with Autism to attend these.

Why It’s Important to Start Searching for a school for an Autistic child early
I recommend beginning your search for a school for an autistic child at least two years before they are due to start school.
The earlier you begin, the more time you will have to gather information, visit schools, and ensure your child is placed in an environment that will allow them to thrive.
Schools are places where our children will spend the majority of their time.
A positive school experience can shape their future, especially for children with autism who may need extra support in developing social skills, communication, and independence.
Schools can make or break a person. Literally.
Yes, we all want to choose the best schools for our children. And the best form of education.
Myself and my husband have decided together that we would like for our Autistic child to go mainstream school.
We would like for them to attend average classes and be with your average Joe.
And be well equipped to be able to independently, fully function in society and work.
As well as, be as prepared as they can be to survive and understand how the real world works and the different types of people they will come across.
Types of School for an Autistic Child
When choosing a school for an autistic child, you have several options.
Here they are:
1. Mainstream School for an autistic child
Mainstream schools are the standard public or private schools that most children go to.
These schools often have special education departments that support students with disabilities, including autism.
If your child is high-functioning like my autistic child and myself, a mainstream school may provide opportunities to interact with neurotypical peers, teaching them social development and preparing them for life in the “real world.”
However, mainstream schools can also present challenges for autistic children.
Large class sizes and lack of specialized support can make it difficult for some children to thrive.
Before choosing this option, speak to the schools that you have in mind and see if they have anything to offer to further help your autistic child in their classes.
Positives of Mainstream Schools:
- Provides social opportunities with neurotypical peers.
- Reflects real-world environments, helping children adapt to society.
- May offer a structured routine that can benefit children who thrive on predictability
- In a multi child household, your child will not feel like the odd one out.
Negatives of Mainstream Schools:
- Class sizes may be too large to offer personalized support.
- Teachers may not be fully trained in autism-specific interventions.
- Your child may face bullying or social isolation if they struggle to fit in.

Sub categories of mainstream school for an autistic child include:
Some mainstream school have a specialty that they also focus on. This is excellent if you wish for your autistic child to thrive in:
- Sport – Most of the funding goes to the extra curricular activities and after school sports clubs etc
- Religion – The main focus is to teach religion and the morals and ethics that come with it.
- Art – Schools will have extra funding for art, drama, music etc and there will be a significant focus on this also
- Or certain schools of thought such as ‘Montessori’ – if you have a particular parenting method that is in line with a certain school of though then you may wish to place your child into a school like that.
2. Special Needs School for an Autistic Child
Special needs schools are designed specifically for children with disabilities, including autism.
These schools usually have small class sizes, specially trained staff, and tailored curricula that focus on the needs of children with developmental challenges.
When we had first received the autism diagnosis of my child, it was recommended to us that we place them in a special needs school.
For some children, special needs schools can be a nurturing environment where they feel understood and supported.
However, in my opinion, these schools might not always prepare children for the realities of the outside world, especially for high functioning autistic children.
If you’re considering a special needs school for an autistic child, weigh the pros and cons carefully.
Positives of Special Needs Schools:
- Tailored environment designed for children with disabilities.
- Teachers are specially trained in working with autistic children.
- Smaller class sizes mean more one-on-one attention.
Negatives of Special Needs Schools:
- May not reflect real-world environments.
- It limits social learning.
- Children might not have as many opportunities to interact with neurotypical peers.
- There is a risk of creating a narrow view of the world, as the environment may be too controlled.

3. Higher IQ School for an Autistic Child
If your child is exceptionally gifted in some areas, you might consider higher IQ schools.
These schools challenge students academically and are often more intense than mainstream schools.
However, children in these schools are expected to thrive socially as well as academically, which can be difficult for autistic children who may struggle with social interactions.
Before choosing a school for an autistic child with higher academic potential, double check the school offers the necessary support for their social and emotional needs.
In my opinion, mainstream schools tend to cater to the average children.
The lower ability children get left behind. And so do the higher ability children.
I did do an interview with a headteacher at a Higher IQ school. We discussed what type of children would thrive in a higher IQ school.
She mentioned that their school has children with Autism in it. HOWEVER, those Autistic children do not usually join early on in their years.
She said that especially in higher IQ schools, their children need to know how to socialize properly and be social.
These skills can take some time for an autistic child and so she mentioned that their school has children with Autism in it. HOWEVER, those Autistic children do not usually join early on in their years.
She said that when a child is doing very complicated academia, they need to have an active social life. Otherwise they crash and burn.
Positives of Higher IQ Schools:
- Offers challenging academic work to meet the needs of gifted children.
- Encourages children to form friendships with others who share similar interests.
Negatives of Higher IQ Schools:
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- Competitive environment can be stressful.
- Lack of proper social skills support can leave autistic children feeling isolated.
- Some schools require yearly IQ tests, adding additional pressure.
For these reasons, we decided to not place our child into a high IQ school.

4. Home School for an Autistic Child
For some parents, homeschooling can be an appealing option, especially if they feel the school system is not meeting their child’s needs.
Homeschooling allows you to tailor the curriculum to your child’s specific needs and learning pace, ensuring they get the attention they need to succeed.
Homeschooling offers flexibility, but it also requires a significant commitment from parents.
It can also limit a child’s opportunities for socializing with peers, which is already a challenge for many autistic children.
Alright, so I am going to be honest and say that Home Schooling was definitely a possibility in my mind.
I was willing to do this.
I understand this is not for everyone.
If both parents, or single household parents are working full time. Then it becomes impossible to stay at home to home school.
If you are fortunate enough to have a full income from one parent and the other parent being a full time parent then this may be an option for you.
I know personally of several friends who home-school their children and do so successfully.
You can ask for resources from the local government or have a look online at the key books taught in schools. Buy them and teach them at home.
It is worth noting that usually the content taught in school, can be taught at home in half the time.
I did decide to teach my autistic child before they started school in order to give them a head start.
You can read some of my materials for home school for an autistic child here:
Positives of Homeschooling:
- Full focus on your child’s needs and learning style.
- You control the pace and content of education.
- Flexibility in scheduling allows for more individualized attention.
- No possibility of bullying
- Your autistic child learns in their comfort zone!
Negatives of Homeschooling:
- Limited social interactions, which are crucial for autistic children.
- It can be financially and emotionally challenging for parents.
- Lack of access to specialized services, like speech or occupational therapy, that schools may provide.
- You may be hindering them from being able to survive in the real world
- Some countries laws make it extremely difficult to embark on this (Netherlands)
- If you have multiple children who are not the same age, then homeschooling will be a lot more challenging
- What happens when you have taught them all you know? Private teachers?
5. Private School for an Autistic child
Private schools are another option when choosing a school for an autistic child. They often offer smaller class sizes and more personalized attention.
Some private schools even specialize in working with children who have developmental challenges.
However, private schools can be expensive, and not all are equipped to support children with autism.
Make sure to ask detailed questions about the school’s experience with autistic children and what specific accommodations they can provide.
Positives of Private Schools:
- Smaller class sizes and more individual attention.
- Higher quality of resources, such as extracurricular activities and trips.
- Some private schools have specialized programs for autistic children.
Negatives of Private Schools:
- Expensive and not accessible to everyone.
- May not offer enough support for children with significant needs.
- Can create an unrealistic view of the world by isolating children in a privileged environment.

The Montessori Method
When choosing a school for an autistic child, one of the methods you may want to explore is the Montessori method.
This approach focuses on fostering independence and self-reliance, which can be very beneficial for autistic children. Montessori schools allow children to work at their own pace, which helps reduce anxiety and frustration.
The child-led learning in Montessori schools can be helpful for children who struggle with rigid structures or timelines.
However, it’s important to ensure that the school has experience working with autistic children and that staff members are trained in autism-specific strategies.
Positives of Montessori Schools:
- Encourages independence and self-reliance.
- Allows children to work at their own pace.
- Provides a less rigid, more flexible learning environment.
Negatives of Montessori Schools:
- Some autistic children may need more structure than a Montessori school offers.
- Not all Montessori schools have staff trained in autism interventions.
- May not provide the level of support needed for children with severe autism.
Practical Steps for Choosing a School for an Autistic Child
1. Visit the Schools
Before choosing a school for an autistic child, visit the schools you are considering.
Observe the classrooms, talk to the teachers, and get a feel for the environment.
Does it seem calm and supportive?
Are there resources available to help children with autism, such as quiet areas or sensory rooms?
2. Ask About the Curriculum
Make sure the curriculum is suited to your child’s learning style.
Some children with autism learn best visually, while others may need more hands-on activities.
Ask about how the school adapts its teaching methods for children with autism.
3. Look for Autism-Specific Support
Ask if the school has teachers trained in autism-specific interventions.
Do they offer speech therapy, occupational therapy, or social skills training?
These services can make a big difference in your child’s success at school.
Can they cater to the needs of your autistic child?
4. Check the Class Size
Smaller class sizes generally allow for more individualized attention, which is essential for many children with autism.
Ask about the student-to-teacher ratio, especially in special education programs.
5. Consider the Social Environment
Socialization is an important part of school life, especially for children with autism, who may struggle with social cues.
Find out how the school helps build social interaction and whether they provide support for children who may need help making friends.
We decided that the best school for an autistic child is the Montessori school of thought.
I looked at every single school in our area. Eliminated all the religious schools because I believe religion and morals and beliefs should be taught at home.
I then called the remaining schools that were left and asked which of them had spaces and how long the waiting lists were.
I then arranged with ALL the available schools an interview with the headteacher. We went to meet up with the headteachers of at least 6 different schools.
We did choose a mainstream school focused on the Montessori method of teaching and learning because they focus on building independence and self reliance which is what we want our kid to have,
I believe that a Montessori school is the best type of school for an autistic child.
When I spoke to the school and we went to have a look around, they let us know that their students can take breaks if needed.
They also let us know that if a child is hungry, they can go and get a snack, even if it is not necessarily snack or lunch time.
A school for an autistic child should at least have a ‘quiet time’ location for the students who wish to work quietly.
The Montessori school for an autistic child caters to their needs. My child, when feeling overwhelmed, is given headphones and a space to sit in a quiet corner in the school to complete their work there.
They also have several students with ADHD who, when they need to let out steam or take a break from class, can leave for 10 minutes, use the playground swings, and then rejoin class.
Conclusion when choosing a school for an autistic child
Choosing a school for an autistic child can be challenging, but it’s also one of the most important decisions you will make.
Whether you decide on a mainstream school for an autistic child or a special needs school for an autistic child, or even homeschooling, the key is to find an environment that understands and supports your child’s unique needs.
Remember that when choosing the best school for an autistic child, no single school is perfect. Every option has its pros and cons, and your child’s needs may change over time.



