Simple 2 Step Trauma Therapy for an Autistic person

A good book to read on Trauma Therapy is: Trauma Treatment Techniques: Innovative Trends

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DISCLAIMER:

My child was diagnosed with autism just before they hit 2 years old. The signs were all there and even before the diagnosis came in, we were sure our child was on the spectrum.

I am also autistic and so I understood that in order for my child to have the best possible relationship with life, I would need professional help.

I understand lack of help for autism all too well and it resonates with me because I had none. And it was hard growing up.

I have come to realise that I have a lot of trauma myself and they can really creep up on me sometimes. So, I always try my best to not have that happen with my child.

I have been working with specialists, therapists and psychologists to help my kid become the best they can possibly be.

I share these on this blog, to help others who are in charge of autistic children and could use some extra help in dealing with the hardships and tests that come with the territory because not everyone has the privilege of this.

Trauma and Autism

Trauma can affect autistic people in unique ways because they often process and respond to stress differently.

For many autistic individuals, trauma might make their sensory sensitivities and routines even more intense, leading to increased anxiety and difficulty coping.

They might struggle more with changes or disruptions, which can make recovery from trauma harder. According to,“Trauma, Autism, and Neurodevelopmental Disorders” autistic people might need special support, trauma therapy and understanding to help them manage the effects of trauma effectively.

Why trauma therapy is important

Trauma therapy is important because it helps people understand and heal from their past traumatic experiences. For autistic individuals, trauma therapy is especially important because it can help them deal with their unique needs and the unique challenges they face.

Trauma therapy provides a safe space to explore feelings, learn coping strategies, and reduce the impact of trauma on daily life. According to “Trauma and Recovery” by Judith Herman, trauma therapy can help people rebuild their sense of safety and well-being.

For autistic people, trauma therapy tailored to their specific experiences can be key in managing stress and improving their overall quality of life. As well as help them become happier and more comfortable adults.

What happens if trauma is left untreated in autistic children?

If the trauma in autistic children is not treated, that autistic child might have more trouble with their emotions and daily routines as they transform into adults.

Without trauma therapy, their feelings of fear or anxiety can become overwhelming and affect their ability to focus, interact with others, or enjoy activities.

According to “The Autism Spectrum: A Guide for Parents and Professionals” by Lorna Wing, untreated trauma can make existing autism-related challenges worse, leading to increased stress and difficulty in managing everyday tasks. Trauma therapy is important to help them process their experiences and find ways to cope, making it easier for them to feel safe and improve their overall well-being.

Cause of my autistic child’s Trauma

When I gave birth to my autistic child, they were born with a paralysed vocal cord. We did not know this at the time of course and we needed to get them checked because my newborn was unable to produce sound. My child could not cry at all. So it was very nerve racking to always be in doubt about whether they were full or hungry or were in pain or anything really.

In order to confirm that my child had a paralysed vocal chord as they were suspecting, they had to insert a tube with a camera into and down my kids mouth and to see into their throat and chest.

Whilst this was happening my husband had to hold our child’s head still and had to do it quite firmly because my child kept trying to move whilst the camera was in their throat.

It is of course horrible and my child had no understanding of what was happening or why it was happening and I cannot imagine the trauma that caused my baby. To be held down forcibly and feel your mouth and throat and inner chest completely violated without any sense of understanding really brings tears to my eyes just remembering it!

After the doctor finished the procedure, my autistic child went to sleep for almost 2 days.

Not a peep.

Or a sound.

My kid at this point was only a baby and exclusively breastfeeding. I had to keep an alarm on my phone to keep a timer to breastfeed my child because they did not wake up or give any hunger signs or cues.

Yes, it definitely caused them Trauma. And they definitely needed trauma therapy to deal with it! But at this moment in time, the results of the trauma had not manifested itself.

Result of trauma

My autistic child is now a bit older. And is eating solid foods on their own. However, we have gotten to the point where my autistic kid is afraid to swallow food. And so, they just keep the food in their cheeks.

It makes meal times quite difficult for them.

My child is just one example of how trauma that anyone has experienced during their toddler years can affect them during their childhood.

Autistic people have trouble with food and have food aversions naturally anyway. Whether it is due to strong flavours, textures or smells. So when something traumatic happens, especially regarding their mouth or throat trauma therapy is definitely needed.

Other things that can cause trauma in autistic children that can manifest itself in refusing to eat are:

Choking

Choking can cause trauma in autistic children because it is a frightening and distressing experience that can leave lasting emotional scars.

For many autistic children, choking can lead to anxiety and fear around swallowing or eating, which might make them even more anxious about meals. A great book to read on how choking can cause trauma to autistic children is, “The Out-of-Sync Child” by Carol Kranowitz.

She argues that traumatic events like choking can make sensory sensitivities and stress responses more intense, impacting a child’s overall well-being and daily life. Trauma therapy can help these children process their fear and find ways to feel safe again.

Hard edged foods that have made cuts inside their mouth or lips before

According to “The Sensory Processing Disorder Answer Book” by Tara Delaney, sensory sensitivities in autistic children can make them particularly sensitive to food textures

If they frequently vomit and has trauma from constant vomiting.

According to, “The Out-of-Sync Child” by Carol Kranowitz, when a child experiences vomiting, it can lead to a lasting negative reaction to the associated food, making them anxious or unwilling to eat it in the future. This can result in a limited diet and increased difficulty with mealtimes. With trauma therapy however, it is possible to overcome this.

In fact all of these things could seriously be reduced with the introduction of trauma therapy.

In addition to doing trauma therapy with my autistic child to get them over their fear of swallowing, I also did food therapy with my autistic child to get them to eat a much more varied diet.

I also have some delicious soup recipes that my autistic child loves. Soup seems to be the easier food for autistic children to eat. You can see some of those recipes here:

How to begin trauma therapy!

1. Make a short story to begin trauma therapy.

In order to get started with trauma therapy, it is best to write up a short story. Depending on the age of your child remember to make the wording age appropriate.

Begin with a very positive introduction

For example: You were in Mummy’s tummy and was so loved by Mummy and Daddy. We were so excited to meet you once you were ready to come out and were very happy that you would have more room to play… etc

Then speak about the trauma

This happened to you……. because of this….. and it was caused by this….. Etc…

Then speak about a positive regarding your child.

For example, “You were such a brave child and so well behaved and it is understandable that you were confused and upset and its okay to feel this way” etc.

Then link it to what behaviour you see now that you suspect is a result of the trauma.

Tell you child that you now see that this makes them act a certain way and now they behave this way which was something they did not do compared to before the traumatic event.

Make sure to also mention a positive for the ending

Tell them the situation is over and finished and that it won’t happen again and that they are safe. And that they don’t need to worry!

2. Tap while doing the Trauma Therapy at the same time.

Yes, I said tap!.

When I was discussing with the therapist regarding this, she said that a baby/toddler cannot necessarily remember trauma in their mind. So, the mind is too young to remember. However the body has memory.

The body remembers. The idea that, “the mind forgets trauma, but the body remembers” means that even if a person doesn’t consciously remember a traumatic event, their body can still react to it.

This sentiment seems to be held by several professionals. According to, “The Body Keeps the Score” by Bessel van der Kolk, trauma can be stored in the body and show up as physical symptoms or stress responses long after the event has happened.

This is why therapy that helps the body process trauma, like trauma therapy, can be important for healing.

Even if the mind is too young to understand or remember what is going on.

The body has memory and that body memory can be triggered. Not the feelings but the body remembers the process it went through. When it went through it.

That is what the tapping aims to achieve during the trauma therapy. It is a way to trigger the memory via the nervous system.

Step 1 and Step 2 should be done at the same time.

The tapping needs to be regular and continued throughout the entire time the story is being read to the child.

The point of the tapping is to try to trigger the memory the body has.

The story is there to try to help the child understand why their body is reacting.

Each time this is repeated the child should hopefully becomes less traumatised and able to understand that the trauma is over and will not happen again.

MY Childs Trauma Therapy

So, Trauma Therapy for my kid went like this,

We began by getting the paper we had printed with the story ready. At the same time I began to read it I started tapping gently and in regularly intervals on their knee.

We spoke about,

How my kid was in my stomach and how they grew bigger and needed more space to play
And that we were very happy we were parents to them
And how beautiful they were and how loved they were

Then we began a description of the trauma:

Why the trauma happened
How the child must have felt during the trauma
What happened during the trauma
How scared the kid must have been
How helpless the kid must have felt

Then we ended it with a conclusion:

State the trauma will not happen again
Say that they are not in that situation anymore
Let them know that they are loved
They are beautiful
They are brave

Etc etc etc.

Caution with Trauma Therapy!

Have your child sitting comfortably and in a nice place.

Having them surrounded with their favourite objects – like teddies or toys

Or if they have a spot that they prefer/feel comfortable in

It can happen that your child will become restless.

Or will start to become very sad and cry.

Maybe they don’t even know why they are sad or crying.

Maybe they won’t understand their own reactions.

It is okay to stop for a little bit to give comfort to the child if needed. For example, giving them lots of hugs and kisses and remind them that they are beautiful and brave and loved.

Just be sure to complete the whole 2 step trauma therapy till the end. Sometimes, it might need to be repeated a few times to really get the best you can get out of it.

I know it is hard. But please do not give up.

Sometimes, with autistic kids an immediate reaction cannot be expected. Autistic kids might not show reactions to trauma therapy immediately because they often process emotions and experiences differently.

They may need more time to understand and express their feelings or might show their responses through changes in behavior rather than clear verbal reactions.

According to, “The Autism Spectrum: A Guide for Parents and Professionals” by Lorna Wing, autistic children might internalize their reactions or exhibit less obvious signs of distress, making it harder to see immediate changes. Trauma therapy often works on helping them slowly open up and process their experiences, so noticeable progress can take time.

Trauma Therapy isn’t easy.

Not for you,
Or for the kid,
Not for anyone involved

We are purposefully triggering our kids with something that was extremely unpleasant for them. But it really is for their own good and for the good of their well being. When things get rough, please remember that!

I did trauma therapy with my child 3 or 4 times. It become more and more clear that the trauma therapy had worked and that we no longer needed to do it anymore when my child started to swallow food without much fuss.

In the book, “The Healing Power of Emotion”, by Diana Fosha, she tells us that you can tell if trauma therapy has been successful for an autistic child, when you see improvements in their behavior, emotional responses, and daily functioning.

Successful trauma therapy often leads to reduced signs of stress or anxiety, better coping skills, and a more positive outlook on their experiences.

Changes may include the child feeling more comfortable discussing their feelings, or them showing fewer signs of distress and engaging more positively with others.

Disclaimer,

I really hate to admit it, but it was really difficult on me as the parent to do this with my child. I had to keep reminding myself that this is not about me and that it is what is best for my child.

Also, it is good to remind yourself of the light that will appear at the end of the tunnel. And that the more you do this, the closer that light will come to you and your child.