13 Early Signs of Autism in Toddlers (Under 18 Months): My Experience as an Autistic Mum Raising an Autistic Child

When people talk about the early signs of autism, they often list symptoms from a medical textbook.

This isn’t one of those articles.

This is my personal experience as both an autistic woman and the mother of an autistic child.

Looking back, I can now see that many of the signs were there long before my child received a diagnosis. At the time, though, I didn’t recognise them for what they were. Some behaviours seemed quirky, others puzzled me, and a few left me wondering whether I was worrying over nothing.

It wasn’t until I started writing everything down and comparing my child’s development with typical developmental milestones that the bigger picture began to emerge.

One moment, in particular, has stayed with me ever since.

We needed to get a passport photo taken.

It sounded like such a simple task.

Instead, it turned into a two-hour marathon.

My child couldn’t stop rocking from side to side. Every photo came out blurred because they simply couldn’t stay still for more than a second or two. The photographer tried everything they could think of to encourage eye contact—singing songs, making funny noises, pulling silly faces—and we tried every trick we could think of too.

Eventually, after what felt like forever, we managed to get one photograph that was good enough for the passport application.

At the time, we laughed about it.

Looking back now, it was one of many small clues that something about my child’s development was different.

Before You Read This List

Every autistic child is unique.

Not every autistic toddler will show the same behaviours, and many neurotypical children may display one or two of these traits during normal development.

This article isn’t intended to diagnose autism.

Instead, it’s a collection of the early behaviours I personally noticed in my child before they reached 18 months of age. Some of these observations later became important discussion points with our paediatrician during the assessment process.

If you’re concerned about your child’s development, trust your instincts, keep notes of what you’re seeing, and speak with your healthcare professional. (See – What Happens When Someone Has Autism – Page 14)

You might also want to check out my other posts on signs of autism for older children:

• 19 Common Revealing Signs of Autism in Toddler
• Signs of Autism in Children Aged 30–48 Months

Can You Notice Signs of Autism Before 18 Months?

In some children, yes.

Research shows that certain autistic traits can become noticeable during the first 18 months of life, although they can vary greatly from one child to another. Some children show several early signs, while others develop typically at first and differences become more noticeable later.

That’s one of the reasons autism is described as a spectrum.

There isn’t a single checklist that applies to every child.

What matters most is the overall pattern of development rather than one individual behaviour.

1. Limited Eye Contact

One of the earliest differences I noticed was eye contact.

Even as a baby, my child rarely looked directly into our eyes. When we spoke to them, they often seemed to look past us or focus on something else instead.

As a new parent, I wasn’t sure whether this was something to worry about.

Later, I learned that many autistic people experience eye contact differently. For some, maintaining eye contact can feel uncomfortable or overwhelming because of the amount of sensory information involved.

Interestingly, this is one area where my child and I are quite different.

Although I am autistic myself, eye contact has never been particularly difficult for me.

That was an important reminder that autism doesn’t look the same in every person.

(For further reading see – Autism: A Practical Guide for Parents)

2. Delayed Speech or Lack of Babbling

By around 18 months, many toddlers are beginning to use simple words and imitate the people around them.

My child wasn’t.

Instead of pointing, talking or attempting words consistently, they usually communicated through actions.

If they wanted a snack, they’d stand beside the cupboard.

If they wanted a toy, they’d wait next to it.

If we didn’t immediately understand what they needed, frustration quickly followed.

Looking back, this wasn’t a lack of communication.

It was communication in a different way.

As someone who’s autistic, I recognised parts of myself in this too.

When I was a child, I often rehearsed conversations over and over in my head before speaking. Sometimes, after all that preparation, I still chose not to say anything at all because speaking simply felt too difficult.

That experience has helped me understand that communication differences in autism can look very different from one person to another.

Delayed speech becomes even more delayed with bilingual families and almost 100% of autistic children are late speakers. (See – The Autistic Spectrum)

3. Little Interest in Playing with Other Children

Something else that stood out to me was how little interest my child showed in other children.

At the playground, they were usually happy to explore on their own while other toddlers chased one another, kicked balls or played together.

It wasn’t that they seemed unhappy.

They simply didn’t appear interested in joining in.

Another thing I noticed was how difficult imitation seemed to be.

Many toddlers naturally copy the children around them, whether that’s kicking a football, clapping, dancing or pretending to cook.

My child rarely copied what they saw.

Even after watching other children play the same game repeatedly, they often continued doing their own thing. (See – Applied Psychology – Page 78)

They also preferred to avoid attention from unfamiliar people.

If someone approached to say hello, they would often bury their face into my clothes or turn away completely.

At the time, these moments felt isolated.

Looking back now, I see they were part of a much larger picture.

4. Delayed Motor Skills

Every child develops at their own pace, but one of the differences we noticed was how long it took my child to master certain physical skills.

Tasks that other toddlers seemed to pick up naturally—using a spoon, drinking from an open cup, stacking blocks or climbing confidently at the playground—took much longer for my child.

Fine motor skills were particularly challenging.

Holding crayons, using small toys and developing hand coordination all seemed to happen later than expected.

As an autistic adult, I can also recognise some of those same coordination difficulties in myself, which makes me wonder how much of it was simply part of our shared neurology.

Motor delays on their own don’t necessarily point to autism, but alongside other developmental differences they became another piece of the puzzle for us.

5. Sensitivity to Touch

This was probably one of the most obvious signs in our home.

My child disliked being touched by anyone outside our immediate family.

If a stranger reached out to stroke their hair or hold their hand, they would immediately pull away, tense their shoulders or move somewhere else.

Even sitting too close could make them visibly uncomfortable.

It wasn’t personal.

It wasn’t rudeness.

Physical touch simply felt overwhelming.

I understand that feeling because I’m exactly the same.

Even now, as an adult, I have a very defined sense of personal space. I’ve simply learned how to hide it better in social situations.

Looking back, respecting my child’s boundaries rather than forcing physical affection helped build trust between us.

6. Playing with the Same Toy Repeatedly

(See – Autism: A Practical Guide for Parents)

Most toddlers enjoy variety.

My child preferred familiarity.

There was one toy they returned to again and again while other toys were almost completely ignored.

At first, I worried that they weren’t exploring enough.

Now I understand that repetition can be incredibly comforting.

For many autistic children, familiar activities provide predictability in a world that often feels overwhelming.

Watching my child happily engage with the same toy over and over taught me that repetitive play wasn’t necessarily a lack of imagination—it was simply how they felt safe and regulated.

7. Sensitivity to Loud Noises and Bright Lights

(See – Autism: A Practical Guide for Parents)

Sensory sensitivities affected almost every part of our daily lives.

Ordinary sounds that most people barely noticed could completely overwhelm my child.

The sound of a passing refuse lorry.

A busy supermarket.

A loud television.

Even places that were designed to be fun, like fairs or indoor play centres, sometimes became too much because of the combination of bright lights, music and crowds.

When sensory overload happened, it wasn’t a tantrum.

It was genuine distress.

Understanding that changed how I responded.

Instead of trying to encourage my child to “get used to it,” I started looking for ways to reduce overwhelming sensory input whenever possible.

8. Fascination with Lights and Close-Up Play

One behaviour I found particularly interesting was the way my child interacted with toys that lit up.

Rather than playing with the toy as intended, they would often move their face extremely close to the lights and watch them intently.

It almost seemed as though they were exploring the sensory experience itself rather than the toy.

Many autistic children experience the world through sensory exploration.

For my child, lights, movement and visual patterns seemed just as fascinating as the toy itself.

Looking back, it was another reminder that autistic children don’t necessarily play incorrectly—they often play differently.

9. Strong Routines and Little Rituals

Autism is often associated with routines, but I was surprised by how early these behaviours appeared.

My child developed tiny rituals that had to happen before certain activities.

One that always stayed with me was how they insisted on placing a toy on the floor and gently touching it with their nose before they would begin playing.

It sounds unusual when I describe it now, but for my child it was simply part of the routine.

As an autistic adult, routines are still something I rely on today.

Predictability reduces uncertainty, and uncertainty can be exhausting.

That’s why I now see these little rituals not as strange behaviours but as coping strategies that helped my child make sense of the world around them.

Routines and rituals can become more obvious as children get older, but they can start as early as 18 months.

Yes! Children on the spectrum exhibit rituals as young and early as 18 Months. (See – Autism: A Practical Guide for Parents)

10. Difficulty Falling Asleep

(See – Sleep Difficulties and Disorders in Autism Spectrum Disorder)

Sleep was something our family struggled with for a long time.

Bedtime could easily take an hour or more.

My child often cried before eventually falling asleep, and evenings became one of the most stressful parts of the day.

Interestingly, I experience similar difficulties myself.

My mind has always found it difficult to switch off, and even now I often need much longer than most people to fall asleep.

Eventually we found a combination of gentle bedtime routines and consistent background sound that made a noticeable difference.

For our family, white noise became incredibly helpful.

It seemed to provide enough predictable sound to make everything else feel less overwhelming, and bedtime gradually became much calmer for everyone.

11. Head Banging

(See – The World of the Autistic Child)

One of the hardest behaviours for me to witness was head banging.

Seeing your child deliberately bang their head is frightening, and my first instinct was to stop it immediately because I worried they would hurt themselves.

Over time, I learned that repetitive behaviours can sometimes be a way for autistic people to regulate overwhelming emotions or sensory experiences.

As difficult as it was to watch, understanding that there was a reason behind the behaviour helped me respond with more compassion rather than panic.

I also remember doing something similar as a child.

On my walk home from school, I sometimes felt an overwhelming urge to bang my head against parked cars.

Even now, I can’t fully explain why.

All I know is that it somehow eased the intensity of what I was feeling at the time.

Looking back, I suspect it was my own way of coping with sensory overload and emotional overwhelm.

12. Affection Looks Different

What it simply means, is that they cannot understand how to process receiving love or how to return it. (See – Autism: A Practical Guide for Parents)

One of the biggest misconceptions about autism is that autistic children don’t love their families.

That couldn’t have been further from our experience.

My child loved deeply.

They simply expressed it differently.

When I hugged them, they often stayed stiff instead of hugging me back.

If I kissed them, they sometimes froze or gently pulled away.

At first, I found this difficult to understand.

Eventually I realised they weren’t rejecting affection.

They were simply processing it differently.

Over time, I learned to recognise my child’s own love language.

They would quietly walk over to me, turn sideways and stand perfectly still.

That was their way of asking for a hug.

I’d wrap my arms around them, they’d enjoy the moment for a few seconds, then happily run off to continue whatever they had been doing.

It remains one of my favourite memories because it taught me that love doesn’t always look the way we expect it to.

13. Not Responding to Their Own Name

Another behaviour we noticed early was that my child often didn’t respond when we called their name.

Like many parents, I found myself wondering whether they simply hadn’t heard me.

Sometimes I’d repeat their name several times before getting any response at all.

Although this can be an early sign of autism, it’s also important not to jump to conclusions.

Hearing difficulties can sometimes look very similar, especially in very young children.

That’s why it’s always worth discussing any concerns with your child’s healthcare professional, who may recommend a hearing assessment alongside developmental screening if appropriate.

Looking at the whole picture rather than focusing on one behaviour is far more helpful than trying to interpret any single sign in isolation.

What Should You Do If You’re Worried?

If you’ve recognised several of these behaviours in your own child, try not to panic.

Every child develops differently, and many toddlers show behaviours that come and go as they grow.

What helped us most was keeping a simple record of the things we noticed.

Writing down milestones, behaviours and any concerns gave us something concrete to discuss with our paediatrician, rather than trying to remember everything during an appointment.

If your instincts are telling you something feels different, it’s always worth seeking professional advice.

You know your child better than anyone else.

Whether the outcome is autism, another developmental difference or simply reassurance that your child is developing in their own way, getting advice early can help you make informed decisions.

Final Thoughts

Looking back now, I can see that none of these signs on their own told us that our child was autistic.

It was the pattern that mattered.

Each small difference gradually built a picture that eventually led us to seek an assessment.

Early support made a real difference for our family, and I’m grateful we trusted our instincts and asked questions when we did.

If you’re reading this because you’re worried about your own toddler, I hope my story reassures you that you’re not alone.

Whether your child is autistic or not, noticing their unique way of experiencing the world is the first step towards understanding them better.

Every child deserves to be supported for who they are, and every parent deserves reassurance that it’s okay to ask for help when they need it.